Tag: bipolar disorder

I think the exhaustion has finally left. I slept after I wrote my blog. I did have my black bean burger on sourdough bread. I wasn’t impressed with the bread. It didn’t have a sour taste to it which was I was looking for. It actually didn’t taste like anything so it was disappointing. I barely finished the burger and it has been the only thing I ate besides the donuts I had earlier. My mother baked some cookies and I had two of them. Usually I gobble them up. My mother makes good chocolate chip cookies. She also made some apple turnovers but I will have them tomorrow. I hope she makes the pudding pie that I like. I usually have that for breakfast. All it is is chocolate pudding in a pie dish topped with cool whip. It’s divine!

I totally forgot tomorrow was Easter when I set up Comcast to come to my father’s place tomorrow afternoon. I hope they come before 1300. I think My sister will be picking him up then and he will be disappointed if they don’t show up to fix his TV. I have no idea when dinner is. No one told me. All I know is that we are having ham.

I think I am starting to feel better now that I had some decent sleep. I still feel sleepy and will be going to bed shortly. I hope I sleep through the night. I will read Dostoevsky if I wake up in the middle of the night. He always makes me sleepy.

Sox lost big time today. Their hurlers weren’t good, so I heard anyway. Then I heard a rumor that my favorite catcher might get traded for a shitty player that I absolutely hate. He was a stinking Yankee player, which is part of the reason I dislike him. I will be absolutely crushed if they trade of this young catcher.

I wish I got a haircut today. I woke up and had bedhead. It’s been months since I had my hair this long to have a bedhead. But it’s been two months since my last hair cut. I try to get it cut every month but last month I was short on funds. I am going to try and get one Monday.

My friend that was waiting for a bed finally got one. I am happy that she is no longer waiting in the ER. I can’t imagine waiting in the ER for almost three days for a bed. It’s just ridiculous to me but I know it happens. I had a friend’s daughter that waited almost a week to get into a good hospital in Tennessee. It’s just sad that there are many sick mental ill people and not enough beds to suit their needs or they get cut due to budget cuts.

It’s nearly 2300. I feel like having a tuna sandwich. I should eat because I am hungry and it’s not often these days that I am hungry. But the depression side of me is telling me it will be too much of an effort and I will be exhausted. I got to go downstairs and check on my mother. She hasn’t come to bed and I am a little worried as she usually is in bed by this time.

Another Slow Day

I have been having another slow day where my thoughts are just not there. I was debating writing this blog. It’s just so hard to write when you can’t think of what to say.

I went to my father’s to do his pills for the week. There was a problem with the pharmacy so we need to wait to get all his pills. I will have to go back tomorrow, something I wasn’t planning on doing. I so wanted to spend the day in bed. Guess that will be Sunday.

I spent the rest of the afternoon in bed but I didn’t sleep. My head kept calling for my pillow but no sleep came. The pain I had flared up and I think that is why I couldn’t sleep. I barely ate today. I finished off the four ribs that was left over from last night and that has been the only sustenance I have eaten. I did drink an Ensure for my breakfast. I just am not hungry today. All I want to do is lie down.

I think this is the longest that I have gone without an appetite. This has been going on for at least two and a half months. I also have not had much to drink. I have been trying to drink some Powerade but have not been successful so far. I wanted a coffee but my choice was Dunkins and that is just a waste of money. I will try and make coffee tomorrow. It’s been a long time since I made coffee at home.

Walking today was painful. I felt like I was walking in mud again. It was raining and cold. I had an umbrella with me but it kept on going from a misty rain to nothing so there was no point in opening the umbrella. I felt like a zombie today. I really feel out of it and I don’t know why. My psych never responded to the email about the side effects. I hope I don’t have them again. They were awful.

I didn’t get my haircut today. I woke up too late. I am going to try to get it tomorrow morning before seeing my father. But it all depends on if I have energy or not. Right now, I can’t trust that I will have energy. Every thing seems so flat to me. I can’t be more descriptive than that.

I am entering my second week of Zoloft. So far it doesn’t seem to be helping any. And I hope the side effects I experienced last night weren’t a drug interaction between the sertraline and the abilify. That will suck. It was another question I asked my psych about but never got a response. Maybe she is looking into it and hasn’t had a chance to get back to me. I still feel like this medication is not helping me but I know I got to give it time. It’s annoying that you have to wait 2-6 weeks for something to help you when you feel so miserable. I still can’t believe I lost another eight pounds in a week. That will make twenty that I have lost since I lost my appetite over two months ago. I just hope I can keep it off.