I went to the barbers today for a touch up. He couldn’t believe how much my hair grew overnight. I have been telling him for the past two years my hair grows fast and he didn’t believe me until now. If I still have cash in two weeks, I will go for another cut. I just won’t get the top buzzed because I miss having some hair on my head. Right now my head feels like a steel course brush. I love the feeling.
After the barbers, I went to the Square for a coffee. There weren’t any seats so I just got my coffee and left for the next bus home. I had some time so I bought my T-pass for the month. I don’t know if it is worth it anymore as I am not visiting my father anymore nor going into town for his appointments. I still have my appointments but I am mostly on the phone with my therapist. My psychiatrist I see every two weeks or so. Maybe I won’t get a pass for the month of July and save myself some money. I kind of like the pass because then I don’t have to keep track of how much money I use per trip.
I am pissed my expedited shipping is media mail and I won’t receive my book until next week. Media mail is the cheapest way to send a package. I feel like I have been duped because I paid extra to have it shipped immediately. The seller is not going to get a good review, if they ask for one. I am glad I don’t need this book for a class or something important. I’d be behind the other classmates.
I am feeling really sad today and I am not going to shake it. I think my fighting the feeling is just making the grief worse. I have no appetite today. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and now the thought of food is making me sick. I was going to make a Bolognese sauce today but I don’t have the energy to. I just feel so down. I feel like I want to cry but the tears aren’t coming. My sister texted me to see if I wanted to go with them to drop off the urns to the funeral home. My sister got a big urn and two smaller ones. I don’t know why. She still plans on getting a tree for the backyard. My brother-in-law is nuts if he thinks he is going to place it in the front of the yard. I am just afraid the roots of the tree will not have room to grow and the tree will die.
I woke up early this morning in pain. My ankles are still hurting me. I don’t know which one hurts more. It sucks because I don’t know which leg to limp on. Dammit, I forgot to go to Walgreens on the way home to get disposable Tupperware for my sauce. I guess I will go tomorrow because I am too tired and in too much pain to go back out. I hope tomorrow I feel better because I really don’t want the meat to go bad. I should have bought Manwich and then I could have sandwiches. My mother is going to make chicken pot pie for dinner. Sounds good to me because I don’t think tomato sauce would agree with me tonight.
I had every intention to read before going to sleep last night but it never happened. I feel like with each passing day I don’t read, I am getting further behind for some reason. It’s been almost three months since I finished a book. I was on a good pace to read 40 books this year. Now I am not so sure it’s doable. I will feel defeated if I don’t complete this challenge. I have 33 books I need to read by Dec 31st.