Wicked Humid Friday

Wicked Humid Friday

The heat index is somewhere around a 100 today, I am sure of it, if not more. Despite a thunderstorm that passed through and dropped the temp to a mere 82 degrees, the humidity is still high. I had soda on my back porch and when I got them to refrigerate them, they were so damn warm. I moved them to my cooler office so they don’t explode.

I went to my appointment this morning, which was a challenge as I didn’t sleep very well. I went to bed or tried to go to bed around 0100 but woke up two hours later. I took an Ativan and tried to go back to sleep. An hour later, I fell asleep only to be woken up three hours later by my alarm clock. I made the 0822 bus, but just barely. I almost got on the wrong bus I was so tired. That would not have been good.

My appointment went okay, though for some reason my medication that I needed to be refilled was no longer on my medication list so had to be added again. Every month I get the same script and there have been no problems. Now it’s a problem because of the lovely new system. Some system this is. No wonder doctors are leaving left and right.

I went and filled my prescription. I wanted to get hamburgers for my lunch and dinner but the bus was coming soon and I didn’t want to wait an hour for the next one. As I was leaving Walgreens, I was looking at what they had for food and saw they had my Ball Park hot dogs! It made my day as now I didn’t have to go to the grocery store to get them.

I got home and I was soaking wet with sweat. If the outside heat index was a 100, my house was 200. YUCK. I quickly changed out of my wet clothing and dried off in my AC’d room. I didn’t feel like cooking and I was kind of wicked tired so I just took a nap.

While I was at my appointment, I told her of the pain I was in and that I wasn’t going to do PT. She didn’t argue with me and I told her I found some exercises on the internet that seem to help me, when I do them. I told her my pain was too great and there was no way I was going to be traveling in this heat. It’s just too much for me. I didn’t tell her about my mood and she didn’t ask. I told her my psych team was basically on vacation, least until Monday when my psychiatrist comes back. I might page her because I was really agitated when I came home for some reason. I had to take a trilafon. Whether or not that contributed to me taking a nap, I don’t really care.

I really wanted to read but I had no time. I barely had time for a sandwich at Starbucks before I had to take a train to my appointment. I had 5 shots espresso and I was still tired. I have no idea when I am going to read Adler. It’s the weekend and I hate going to the Square because there is hardly any seats unless you go early and my early tends to be later than everyone else’s. I still have coffee for home, though I am running low on half and half. I just hope it lasts me until my next grocery order in a couple weeks.

I am kind of in a reading mood right now so maybe I will give Adler a shot. The nap kind of gave me energy so that is good. I might have a cup of coffee as it’s still early enough to have one and if it keeps me up, so be it. I have nothing important to do tomorrow, except blog writing.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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