Sunday Blog 18

Sunday Blog 18

I put away all the yummy sauce that I made last night and then made a bowl of pasta for lunch. The sauce came out pretty good. Then I took a nap before washing all the pots and dishes. My back is not feeling right since standing for so long making everything. I was going to go to BPD chat but I really can’t sit because of my back. I really want to lie down again. I am still full from eating two bowls of pasta. I just had a nectarine because I wanted something sweet. I figured that would be better than Oreos.

Baseball game isn’t on till 8. It was supposed to be a day game but ESPN pick it up so now it’s a night game. I don’t mind. I slept most of the afternoon anyways so I would have missed it. I guess the Benadryl I took last night really hung me over. I am so sleepy.

My therapist is back from vacation this week. I have some sauce for her. I plan on giving it to her on Tuesday when I see her. I am a little apprehensive about seeing her. It’s been two weeks since we last talked. I have been texting her sporadically over that time. I wrote her letters while she was away about my moods and suicidality. I don’t know if she will read them or not. It was something to do while I was missing her and what I couldn’t fit into a text message.

All day my bowels have been spazzing on me. I don’t know why. I have gone to the bathroom twice and haven’t really had anything to eat that I think would make it upset. I just feel uncomfortable and I don’t like it. I still been sneezing like crazy. I woke up with a headache and now it seems to be coming back. I am not sure if it’s a migraine or not. I just know my head hurts. Another reason for me to sleep.

This week is not supposed to be 90 degree weather but it is going to be in the 80s. I don’t know if the humidity is going to be up or down. The only day that the temp is not going to be above 85 is Tuesday, when I go see my therapist. I hope my back is better by then or driving that long distance might be a problem for me. I got to remember to get coffee before I leave Boston. Last time I was practically at her office when I realized I didn’t have coffee. It sucked. Luckily, I know where there is a Starbucks so I went to my spot.

I bought burgers when I bought the ground beef for the sauce. I haven’t made them because I haven’t been in a mood for burgers so I froze some of them today. I plan on making them for my dinner tonight, if I get hungry. I have the house to myself because my mother went to a Christening. I was supposed to go but I couldn’t trust my ankle. It’s still bothering me from all the cooking I did last night and my back is being a pain now so I am glad I didn’t go. It’s nice to finally have the house to myself for a couple of hours. I don’t have to worry so much about my mother getting ill. It’s such a worry all the time. Thankfully she hasn’t had an episode since the beginning of July and she has been taking good care of herself with the new insulin regimen. She hasn’t been below 100 since coming home, which is good.

I wish I didn’t eat all my Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting the other night. I only wanted a little, like half a pint. But I ended up eating the whole pint. It was good but now I want some ice cream and I don’t have it. I would go to Walgreens and get some but I don’t feel like paying $6 for it. I am not that desperate for it. One of my Twitter buddies was going on and on about making gelato at home with lemon. He is really funny when he talks about cooking. Cracks me up. His partner asked if they could go out for ice cream and he said that was grounds for divorce. He is funny. My friend likes making stuff at home. I guess it’s better than going out. I know I am saving money on my burgers because a pack of 8 cost $8 whereas buying a burger from my favorite place is $10, just for one stinking burger, not including onion rings and a drink. And when I make the burger tonight, I will have a choice of cheeses, Swiss, cheddar, or American. I didn’t buy avocados this time. I am the only one that likes it and I had to waste a half because it went bad the last time I did buy it. I made a mean burger with it, much better than my favorite place. Only difference was there was no bacon, but I can live without. I have never really made bacon for burgers at home. Too much of clean up afterwards. I hate clean up.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Sunday Blog 18

  1. Maribelle says:

    Music does not help. I could just sing along all night 😀 I do have to sleep with the ceiling fan on. I like the white noise. But no radio or tv or too much light. It will be a long day tomorrow now with no sleep. Sigh.

  2. G. Collerone says:

    That stinks. Does listening to music help? I sometimes find that soothing or a white noise machine

  3. Maribelle says:

    Thanks. Not looking good so far. I wish I could take Tylenol pm or Benadryl. They just don’t work for me. I get maybe 2-3 hours and that is all. And I have to get up at 5:15 tomorrow.

  4. maribelle says:

    Hope you get some sleep tonight!

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