bad day in therapy

Bad day of Therapy

After almost sixteen years of working together, my therapist and I are coming to the conclusion of our work. I cried through most of the session. She still wanted to give me some names of therapists that were close by but I think I am done with therapy. I will just see my psychiatrist every 2-3 weeks. I don’t care. I can’t go back to a new therapist because I just don’t want to deal with someone new.

I cried some more after therapy. Sobbed is more like it. I soaked my pillow. I didn’t go out today. If my mother didn’t cook dinner, I probably wouldn’t have eaten either. I might have some cake later. Maybe the chocolate chips and pumpkin will cheer me up some. I never called the dentist to get the hole in my tooth fixed. I will try tomorrow.

The reason that we can’t work together anymore is still unclear to me but I am not going to press the issue. Obviously, my transference blog “opened her eyes” and she doesn’t think I am right for her anymore. If I see any new therapist, I won’t be sharing my blog with them.

I’m having trouble writing today. My heart is broken and I don’t think it will recover. 16 fucking years. We are taking a break. We don’t go back to seeing one another until after the new year. Ironically, it’s the day after our anniversary date.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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