Things you think of when you can’t sleep because of pain
I’m having a difficult time right now. My foot is ablaze in pain. I took my pain meds a half hour earlier than I should have. I don’t care. I also took an Ativan because my thoughts are all over the place with anxiety. I am not sure what the anxiety is about. I have been thinking about my therapist the past couple of hours so it might because of her. Our session is still not sitting well with me. I tried writing about it but I just ended up crying. It just got me so upset. So I left the document open but I will come back to it later.
I checked my blog email as I had some messages. In the sidebar, it listed some Velveeta recipes. It looked good so I clicked on it for a chicken and pasta dish. It seems easy to make so I am going to try it. I just need to get the ingredients.
I am really tired but every time I lie down, my ankle acts up. I took it off the covers and that reduced the pain by 40%. But every time I move it to get comfortable, it flares up on me again. I don’t get it. I am not straining it by these movements. And they are not bearing any weight. I don’t know what gives.
I’m having nerve pain so I took some Neurontin to try and ease it. I wish it worked right away but it doesn’t. It takes several hours for it to work. By then, I am usually asleep. I wish I was asleep right now and I would be as I have had a tough day. But this damn pain is horrible tonight. I don’t understand why as I have been in bed most of the day. The only time I pretty much left my room was to use the bathroom and get something to eat, which were very few times. But my pain doesn’t care. It hurts no matter what I do or don’t do. So very frustrating.
I tried the new protein drinks. It’s not bad but it has a bad aftertaste. It has the sweetener stevia in it which is why the calories are so low. I never had this sweetener before so I hope I don’t get sick off it. The drink did filled me up so that was good. I might buy some Ensure for the vitamin part of it as well as adding calories. Drinking five of the protein drinks will only bring me up to 750 calories a day. I need another 300 calories to complete the day. One Ensure will probably do it.
I think I finally cried for my father today as I was crying for the loss of my therapist. I still don’t think I am completely over his death. It will be eight months since his passing, ironically on Christmas. It’s going to be a difficult day.