Day after Storm Stella

Day after Storm Stella

It’s frozen and icy out so I won’t be going out today. I can hear my brother in law trying to break up the ice as he is shoveling the snow. I don’t feel bad for him because if he kept on top of the snow with the snowblower, it wouldn’t be so bad. Instead he wanted to wait till it was all done so now he has to deal with heavy icy snow.

Last night, I had dinner at my sister’s. It was pretty good. After the meal and dessert, my mother’s sugar dropped. She gave herself too much insulin. We stayed with her for a while and talked about the reasons it dropped. I am just glad it happened when she was aware and not passed out somewhere in the house. Her sugar wasn’t too low, only 96 but for her it was causing her to feel weird and we (my sister, brother in law, and I) know what happens if we don’t get it up over 100.

I woke up in pain, again. My left thigh is hurting for some reason. I always get nervous when it flares up. But I think it’s more muscle pain than nerve related. I don’t know why as I was lying down most of the night so I am not sure why it has flared up on me. Usually, if I sit too long it will act up. But I haven’t been in a sitting position until now. So weird.

I was able to go back to sleep. I woke up after 1300. I made a bacon sandwich and coffee. I also wanted to sneak in a shower but my foot decided to have severe nerve pain so I had to take some Neurontin. Then after a sneeze attack, my pain level shot up to 15. My regular meds won’t be able to touch it so I took the strong pain pill. It’s not even 1700, yet. I am done for the day.

I am going to be looney tunes once the Neurontin kicks in. I might read my book before my brain becomes a fog. I am reading about Robert Lowell. The book is starting to bore me because it keeps describing the same things over and over. He becomes manic, makes lewd gestures and starts fights, does creative writing, ends up in the hospital for a few months, gets doped up on Thorazine, calms down from mania. Then goes through depression trying to piece together what happened and reconcile friendships. Repeat during the next episode, which could be months or years from the last one. It sucks losing interest with this book because my favorite author wrote it, Kay Redfield Jamison. She usually doesn’t repeat herself. The book is very long, at least 800-900 pages. If this is what I have to read throughout the book, I am going to stop reading it. I can’t imagine that any reviewer read all through the book and didn’t have the same thoughts that am having. But everyone reads and interprets differently. To each their own, I guess.

I’m glad I have protein bars in my room in case I get hungry later. My mother made asparagus and eggs. I don’t think I am going to be able to make it down the stairs as my pain is so high right now. I just hope I don’t have to use the bathroom again. That will suck.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Day after Storm Stella

  1. Yogi Bear says:

    I am glad you got your moms sugars up where they belong. I know what that is all about! Hugs G.

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    Hugs glad your mom is ok again! Stay warm! ❤ xoxo

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