Saturday Blog 83

Saturday Blog 83

I woke up at 4 because my bladder woke me up. I had a hard time going back to sleep so I stayed up for a little bit. When I did go back, I woke up late and didn’t want to get out of bed. I forced myself out of bed, went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I then decided to make coffee. I made the last of Casi Cielo. Coffee was so good. When it comes out next year, I am buying two bags.

It was almost 1130 by the time I finished brewing my coffee. I had to go to the post office to send back my new Bluetooth headset. I brought the coffee with me as I wasn’t done with it and I didn’t want to let it get cold. I then went to a drug store to see if I could get biofreeze for my pain. It was really expensive there so I didn’t get it. The price of the lidocaine had gone up. I think I paid less than $10 for the one I have now. Now the price is over $10 and up for the various sizes. I didn’t buy anything, though I did contemplate buying my mother some flowers that they had. I couldn’t decide which pot to buy so I just left. It was really warm in the store and when I left the store I took off the shirt I was wearing. It was too heavy for the weather.

I came home and read the CBT book. I finished reading the chapter I started the other day. There is a lot of information in this chapter so I might have to read it again when I take notes on it for my review. After reading the chapter I decided to make some lunch. My mother is at a birthday party so I am left to my own devices. I think I might make a bacon sandwich for supper or I might make a PB&J. I haven’t really decided what to make. I haven’t made bacon in a while.

I have been listening to Linkin Park since yesterday. I am in that kind of mood. Their music just hits the feels, if you know what I mean. It’s good music to just get lost in and forget things.

I want to take a nap. I am in a lot of pain, in one form or another and it’s tiring me out. It’s really depressing me because there is nothing I can do for one of the pains that I feel because it’s nerve pain. I am also depressed because I know that I can’t walk to my “suicide spot”. I realized this on Thursday when I had my bad flare up. I’m either going to have to take a cab there or do it at home, which I don’t want to do. I really don’t want to be found by a family member.

I just made a PB&J sandwich and when I said as much on Twitter, a new Indian restaurant in Cambridge tweeted me back. I have been dying to have Chicken Tikki Masala. I might have to check them out. I wish I knew someone that liked Indian food would go with me. Maybe I can have my friend come with me if I can steal him away from his girlfriend.