Memorial Day 2017

Memorial Day 2017

Today is the day we remember service members that have died in the line of duty. It’s a solemn day. People would be BBQ-ing if the weather was nicer. It’s really damp and rainy. But the weather was better in the morning for parades and stuff. If you are a veteran reading my blog, I salute you and thank you for your service!

I woke up around 4 and wrote a blog because I couldn’t go back to sleep after my bladder woke me up. Around six, I decided to have breakfast. I thought about making coffee but I wanted to go back to sleep. I slept for about five hours, waking up around 1230. I didn’t want to get out of bed but my bladder was not having it. I made coffee then. I had a shit load of messages on my phone. A friend sent me a message via Facebook. She was supportive of my blog that I wrote this morning. I thanked her for her kind words. She gave me her number in case I needed someone to talk to. She also invited me to spend the day with her one day.

My wonderful niece was able to find butterscotch pudding for me. I might make my butterbeer pudding cookies later. I am not in the mood right now to do much of anything. I made hot dogs because I was hungry. I also watched an inning of the baseball game. I didn’t feel like watching it after I finished eating so I am listening to it in my room as I write my blog.

I am feeling pretty crappy. My ankle and foot are sore. But my backache is better. It was really bothering me last night because of today’s rain. It’s also very cold. I really don’t want to do anything but lay in bed today. I might make the cookies tomorrow. I haven’t quite decided what I am going to do tomorrow as in the evening I need to go to a wake. A friend of mine died last week. He was a good man and I want to pay my respects to him. I need to iron one of my dress shirts. I might do that later tonight or tomorrow morning. The house is cold so I just want to stay under the covers.

I hate that my pain is making me miserable today. I took my meds but it hasn’t been too helpful. It knocked the pain down a little bit but hasn’t made it go away, though my pain never really goes away unless I take a high dose of my strong pain meds. I am trying not to take the strong meds as it’s just wrecking havoc with my intestines. I am still trying to figure out a system where I can go every day but nothing has helped so far.

Red Sox are playing the White Sox and currently lead them 4-3 in the 7th. I hope they win today but the relief pitcher has just given up a triple and a double. Now the game is tied. Fuck! I’m going to take a nap before this gets worse!

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s