A frustrating day of pain

A frustrating day of pain

I woke up around 9. I decided to write the blog about zero suicide that I have been procrastinating/in too much pain to write. I got half way through it when hunger came over me, so I decided to make breakfast and coffee. I should have finished the blog before eating because I was ready to go back to sleep. I forced myself to drink more coffee and try to focus on what I was writing. My ankle pain was down so I wanted to take advantage of it. A friend wanted me to send it to him before I published it. I think I wrote about 800-900 words. I sent it off to him but haven’t heard back.

As I was so sleepy, I decided to take a shower. Worst decision of the day! Not even two minutes under the water, my back seized up and made it hard to wash up. I had to sit down so I shoved the things on the seat over so I could. I waited for the spasms to pass before I got up again. It didn’t matter as within seconds the spasms returned. I quickly dried off and went up to my room. I had wanted to vacuum my rug but that wasn’t happening. I also wanted to make cookies. Not happening either. The shower took so much out of me. I had to rest for most of the day.

I asked my mother what she wanted for supper. I suggested soup and she suggested I make it. Great. The ballgame was on at 4 so I made some pasta and heated up some soup. By that time, my ankle decided it wanted to hurt and my back was out of sorts again. I need to lie down as sitting is hurting me. Damn temp went up 20 degrees so my back can’t adjust that quickly. Heard it’s going to be nice the rest of the weekend so the temps should be stable, give or take 5 degrees. Least I hope so.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to A frustrating day of pain

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    ag that back pain must be awful. I hope lying down helped a little. xx

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