white noise and sleeping

White noise and sleeping

Probably while I was writing my blog late last night, I was having a reaction to the Moscow Mule that I had. My tongue felt swollen and my throat felt really funny. I took some diphenhydramine. It took about two hours to work, but I finally felt like I wasn’t going to asphyxiate. I was in pain so I couldn’t go to sleep right away. I turned on the white noise machine to try and settle my brain from the panic I was having at having a drink I shouldn’t have had. I finally went asleep around 5. I emailed my psychiatrist telling her I wasn’t going to see her because it was like 2 am and I wasn’t asleep yet. I am glad I canceled because I didn’t get up till noon.

I woke up with a very sore throat. It hurt to talk or swallow. I wasn’t hungry so I just went downstairs to have a dessert. I told my mother what happened. Then she asked if I would call the phone company because there was sometimes static on the line. I told her I couldn’t talk because it hurt. I tweeted to the phone company but that didn’t get me anywhere. They responded and then sent me a link but I couldn’t open it on my phone. I was feeling sleepy as I took more diphenhydramine and the white noise tends to make me sleepy, a double whammy.

I didn’t know if I would blog today as I was pretty much knocked out. I just had dinner, leftovers from last night. I was shocked I didn’t get any spaghetti sauce on my shirt. The breadstick I had was good but it would have been better warm. I don’t know why their breadsticks are so damn good. I just took some more diphenhydramine because my throat is hurting.

I have been following the American Association of Suicidology conference on Twitter. Every year I get inspired by the work these people are doing. It kind of makes me feel less suicidal and wanting to go on despite of my pain and illness but then the conference ends and I am alone with my thoughts again.

I heard from the pain doc today. The secretary called to make an appt with him. I was shocked. I see him in two weeks. Maybe I will get relief or just get more annoyed than I already am.

any thoughts?

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