Sunday Blog 18

Sunday Blog 18

I put away all the yummy sauce that I made last night and then made a bowl of pasta for lunch. The sauce came out pretty good. Then I took a nap before washing all the pots and dishes. My back is not feeling right since standing for so long making everything. I was going to go to BPD chat but I really can’t sit because of my back. I really want to lie down again. I am still full from eating two bowls of pasta. I just had a nectarine because I wanted something sweet. I figured that would be better than Oreos.

Baseball game isn’t on till 8. It was supposed to be a day game but ESPN pick it up so now it’s a night game. I don’t mind. I slept most of the afternoon anyways so I would have missed it. I guess the Benadryl I took last night really hung me over. I am so sleepy.

My therapist is back from vacation this week. I have some sauce for her. I plan on giving it to her on Tuesday when I see her. I am a little apprehensive about seeing her. It’s been two weeks since we last talked. I have been texting her sporadically over that time. I wrote her letters while she was away about my moods and suicidality. I don’t know if she will read them or not. It was something to do while I was missing her and what I couldn’t fit into a text message.

All day my bowels have been spazzing on me. I don’t know why. I have gone to the bathroom twice and haven’t really had anything to eat that I think would make it upset. I just feel uncomfortable and I don’t like it. I still been sneezing like crazy. I woke up with a headache and now it seems to be coming back. I am not sure if it’s a migraine or not. I just know my head hurts. Another reason for me to sleep.

This week is not supposed to be 90 degree weather but it is going to be in the 80s. I don’t know if the humidity is going to be up or down. The only day that the temp is not going to be above 85 is Tuesday, when I go see my therapist. I hope my back is better by then or driving that long distance might be a problem for me. I got to remember to get coffee before I leave Boston. Last time I was practically at her office when I realized I didn’t have coffee. It sucked. Luckily, I know where there is a Starbucks so I went to my spot.

I bought burgers when I bought the ground beef for the sauce. I haven’t made them because I haven’t been in a mood for burgers so I froze some of them today. I plan on making them for my dinner tonight, if I get hungry. I have the house to myself because my mother went to a Christening. I was supposed to go but I couldn’t trust my ankle. It’s still bothering me from all the cooking I did last night and my back is being a pain now so I am glad I didn’t go. It’s nice to finally have the house to myself for a couple of hours. I don’t have to worry so much about my mother getting ill. It’s such a worry all the time. Thankfully she hasn’t had an episode since the beginning of July and she has been taking good care of herself with the new insulin regimen. She hasn’t been below 100 since coming home, which is good.

I wish I didn’t eat all my Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in one sitting the other night. I only wanted a little, like half a pint. But I ended up eating the whole pint. It was good but now I want some ice cream and I don’t have it. I would go to Walgreens and get some but I don’t feel like paying $6 for it. I am not that desperate for it. One of my Twitter buddies was going on and on about making gelato at home with lemon. He is really funny when he talks about cooking. Cracks me up. His partner asked if they could go out for ice cream and he said that was grounds for divorce. He is funny. My friend likes making stuff at home. I guess it’s better than going out. I know I am saving money on my burgers because a pack of 8 cost $8 whereas buying a burger from my favorite place is $10, just for one stinking burger, not including onion rings and a drink. And when I make the burger tonight, I will have a choice of cheeses, Swiss, cheddar, or American. I didn’t buy avocados this time. I am the only one that likes it and I had to waste a half because it went bad the last time I did buy it. I made a mean burger with it, much better than my favorite place. Only difference was there was no bacon, but I can live without. I have never really made bacon for burgers at home. Too much of clean up afterwards. I hate clean up.

Saturday Blog 62

Saturday Blog 62

I made sliders for dinner. After dinner I was bored so I made sauce. And I am watching the baseball game while it cooks. I made it cook for three hours. It’s nice and thick and smells so yummy. My mother said I should have made a bowl of it. But the bread we have was not fresh and I hate eating stale bread. I will be giving some to my therapist on Tuesday when I see her, that is if my family doesn’t eat it all before then. Last time it went quick and I barely had any left over. But I made a small batch. This time I used 3 cans of tomatoes so it should last a while. I am proud of myself. Making sauce makes me happy because it’s something that I am good at.

After the blog I wrote this morning, I went back to sleep. I woke up around 1 and made some coffee. I thought my mother made both bags of cauliflower last night but she only made 1. So I made the cauliflower. I had some while the biscuits were cooking for the sliders. I then had some more while the biscuits were cooling. I love cauliflower. I can eat it plain, which is typically how I like it.

The baseball game is still going on but I had to get off my foot. I have been sneezing all day because the pollen count is high. I dared to take a shower between innings. Now my ankle and food are mad at me. I am tired so I will be going to bed soon. Next week starts college football and I can’t wait. Luckily Nebraska and OSU are at different times so I can watch both of them. I forget which is the afternoon game and which is the evening game.

I didn’t change my sheets today. I will try again tomorrow. I tried to clear off my bed but didn’t make too much headway with it. The sauce and baseball game kind of took over. I did a lot of cooking today which is why my ankle is hurting me. I am sure tomorrow it will hurt some more. I had to wash my feet because they were black as the ace of spades. I never wear socks or sandals on my feet in the house during the summer time. But they were really dirty as I haven’t take a shower in a few days so I washed them with a facecloth before my shower. My mother yells at me as I leave the dirt on the shower floor. I then have to clean it up but my back was killing me because of cooking and I didn’t want to do it. I wanted most of the dirt off so I can shower without cleaning it. After I showered, I did put on sandals so my feet didn’t get dirty again. By that time, the sauce was done cooking and I could go upstairs to my freezing room. I was having another sneeze attack as I was climbing the stairs. My mother heard me and asked me if I take anything for the pollen. I said I did so I took some Benadryl with the Allegra. I will be sleeping good tonight.