Pdoc appt and other things

I didn’t wake up in time to catch the 0950 bus despite setting my alarm. I pretty much woke up to shut it off and then went back to sleep. I should have set a second alarm in case that happened. Luckily, my mother called me at 1000 so I could catch the next bus. I had just enough time to get my latte and leave to catch the train.

My psychiatrist was running late. She always is but today was later than usual. The voices were getting unsettled. It was kind of weird being there in the waiting room while the voices were talking. I should have taken the trilafon before leaving the house but felt it was too early as I just woke up. We talked about side effects of the medication as it’s an older drug and she is comfortable with me taking it as long as it is helping me. She ordered an EKG today as it has been two years since my last one. I am just glad she didn’t order any blood work. I hate getting my blood drawn.

I am glad the bus home was late so I caught it and didn’t have to wait an hour. I went to Walgreens to pick up my scripts that were ready. I was sweating bullets by the time I reached my house. My shirt was soaking wet. I had to take it off because it was making me cold with the AC. The new shirt I put on I then ruined when I opened a can of tuna in oil. I hate when I do that. I try to be careful but today I wasn’t. Now I have oil stains on my shirt. Luckily it’s on the bottom half so it’s not so noticeable.

My mother is thinking of making a “lazy man’s mac and cheese”. Apparently she is thinking of making the pasta and then microwaving cheese on top of it. Whatever. Sounds good to me. I love pasta and cheese so it works for me. I feel like making coffee but it’s kind of late. I just feel so wiped out. The heat and humidity is awful. It was really humid around the hospital because the river is right there. I was drenched before I reached the station. My ankle started acting up on the way home. I knew it was going to because there is a threat of showers today. Plus I did extra walking and stairs today as I had to go from one building to another to get the EKG.

My refill of trilafon is still being processed. I hope it gets mailed out today or I am going to be screwed. I have only a few pills left. I should have expedited shipping. I normally wouldn’t worry about it but the voices have been annoying today so I might need a second dose. I wish I knew where my other pill container was that I carry around. I know there are some pills in there. I tried finding it last night but wasn’t successful. I hate being psychotic. I told my psych today that it’s getting worse as I get older to control. I told her that I was having delusions as far back as March 2015, even with the abilify so obviously the abilify lost its effectiveness and I really didn’t notice it. Course I am so used to the voices it’s hard to discern when they are troublesome and when they are “normal”.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Pdoc appt and other things

  1. G. Collerone says:

    no I use Caremark/CVS

  2. Stupid voices. Meh. Have you read my post “The Psychiatrist and the Lightbulb?” It’s a true story from when I was a student. I just thought of it because extraneous sounds turn into voices or annoying stupid music and ruin my sleep. I can’t take antipsychotics anymore, so I just have to deal with it in other ways. I put on music that I like and turn it up loud, which bothers my poor dog. Fuck a bunch of voices! Hope your pills show up in time. Do you use Optum?

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