another day of therapy

Another day of therapy

My therapist had an opening early this morning and I reluctantly took it. I managed to get a Zipcar so I could see her. Traffic was a little hairy but I made it on time. I forgot how bad morning traffic could be as I haven’t driven in the morning in so long. We talked about my plan and about ditching the pills. I told her there was a high probability that I couldn’t walk to my destination anyways. I would have to do a trial run and I never did because my pain flare ups prevented that. She wanted to do a psychache scale but I told her it’s worthless because my physical pain is overshadowing my emotional pain right now. We did talk about my LTD paperwork and what I basically wanted her to say. I will pick up the papers when I see her on Tuesday.

I got back with 10 minutes to spare so I went to my house to grab my bag with my book and journal and returned the car. I wanted to go to Starbucks to edit my book and have another espresso drink. While I was there, they had these really cool Boston mugs with baseball on it. They were pricey but I didn’t care, I bought it. It was my reward for living. My mother is going to freak because I have so many mugs but only use one consistently. I might give it to a friend as a Christmas gift. Depends on how much I like it, haha. It’s a ceramic one so I need to be really careful with it because I am a clutz. I edited one story for my book and got tired. I tried writing in my journal but it wasn’t happening. I wanted a nap. I left for the station to get my pass for the month and then waited for the bus.

I wanted to show off my haircut to my therapist so I did my hair. Rain was in the forecast but I was hoping to beat it. No such luck. I just reached my stop home and it started raining. Figures, the one day I don’t wear my baseball cap, it rains. My bowels started acting up so I was glad I was going home. I had milk in the morning and I never know when it’s going to activate my bowels to go haywire. When I got home, my mother was in the bathroom and I knew I couldn’t hold it so I ran downstairs to my sister’s bathroom. I am so glad we have access to another bathroom or I would have had an accident. I just made it, too.

I am still going to try and make the pumpkin cake for my friend’s party Saturday. It all depends on how I feel. I feel like shit right now because I had to get up so fricken early. My energy levels have dropped since being home. I think I am crashing from all the espresso I drank today. I still need to make dinner. My mother is making pork chops but I got a burger that I need to cook or it’s going to go bad. I rather have the burger than pork. Sometimes, pork doesn’t agree with my digestive tract.

I had to call Zipcar today because the last driver that used the car I had smoked pot and cigarettes. It really reeked and I had to keep the windows rolled down most of my trip. I am glad the rain didn’t come until the afternoon because I can’t stand the smell of pot. I can’t believe someone would drive under the influence of pot. Just because they don’t own the car, doesn’t mean they should jeopardize other drivers. I was really pissed off. I won’t be using that car again, even though it’s more convenient for me.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to another day of therapy

  1. G. Collerone says:

    no problem. I understand now. And yes, it is illegal to drive under the influence of any medication or alcohol.

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    Not you the other driver the person who was smoking pot in the car when you were driving it I probably where did the comment wrong sorry friend didn’t mean to do that, I meant the other person though not you, the person smoking the past and leaving the smell in the car so that if a police officer stop the car they would’ve thought it was you, sorry again XXX

  3. G. Collerone says:

    What are you talking about? I never drive under the influence. And I RE read my blog and wasn’t high or anything so I am really confused

  4. manyofus1980 says:

    wow, isn’t it illegal to drive under the influence of drugs? you could have been caught and it wasn’t even you. damn drivers, so inconsiderate. gald therapy went well. and at least you got a little editing done. xoxo

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