Reading Report and other things

Reading Report and other things

I did some more things to help my mother clean the house for my sister’s birthday party this coming Tuesday. I am dead meat and I know my ankle and foot are going to have a war pretty soon as to which part is going to cause me the most pain. I took my meds so hopefully it won’t be as bad as I think it will be. I have gone up and down the stairs so many times tonight that I just don’t think it’s possible not to be in pain. And just when I swore off going downstairs unless the house is on fire, my bladder says “haha you’re funny”. I should have went the last time I went down but I didn’t have to go or thought I didn’t. My bladder thought otherwise, however soon as I was up in my room, all settled under the covers.

I read my Lincoln Boys book. I don’t know why every Lincoln book that I have read, by different bloody authors, in the last few years have ALL included the Compromise of 1820, the Missouri Compromise of 1850, Bleeding Kansas, and my favorite, the Dred Scott decision. What that has to do with Lincoln, I have no bloody fucking clue. He wasn’t involved in any of those decisions. You take it out, and your book is really shorter. Dear god, how about that!? And guess what, neither were the men you are talking about in the book so why are the fuck are you writing about it?? I wouldn’t mind it but it’s like beating a dead horse, the language is the same in all the books I read about Lincoln. Hell, he may have been around but he wasn’t in politics at least until after the Missouri Compromise. It’s just boring reading the same shit in every single book I read about Lincoln. Pretty sad.

I read three chapters of this book. It finally got to John Nicholay and his life. What amazes me is that most of these men were against slavery but they couldn’t stand the negroes. They didn’t want anything to do with them. Much like today, with the black lives matter movement. We as a white person, tolerate them being around but really don’t want them around. I don’t know why that is. It makes no sense to me. I have a few friends that I love that are black and wouldn’t treat them differently than I do my white friends. Then there are black co-workers who take their race to extremes and you can smell it a mile away. It sickens me because they also perpetrate the racism. It’s a two way street. You can’t have it just one way. And don’t even get me started on the “N” word. Every time I hear it, I seriously want to lose my shit. That is just disgraceful. It’s like being called bitch by your best friend every time you see them and then after a while, you start believing it because they are calling you that. It’s wrong. It’s not respectful at all, in my opinion.

The racism thing isn’t what my blog is about and if I have offended anyone, I am sorry. That isn’t my intention. I will say one last thing about it. It won’t go away until we respect one another as a human being. We all have the same blood, same organs, same diseases (well, mostly) and we are all fighting to give our kids a special place here while we can. I know the racism thing isn’t going to go away in my lifetime. But I am a Trekkie so I believe that one day we will all love each other as one and all be equal. LLAP (Live Long And Prosper).

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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