do nothing on a snowy Sunday

Do nothing on a snowy Sunday

It was freezing out so I didn’t go anywhere and just stayed in bed. My ankle wasn’t appreciative of the efforts. The times I did have to get up and go downstairs, it rebelled more. But I had to eat and use the bathroom so there was nothing I could do. I tried to stay on my diet today but it didn’t work out that way. But I stayed away from cookies so that was a plus.

Today was snow clearing day. I hope tomorrow I will be able to go out. I need to get my prescription and some items at Walgreens. I don’t think I will be going to the Square but who knows, my mood might change. I got to go to the post office, too. Lots of errands tomorrow.

I did some writing in my journal. I have been trying to write in it every day but the past few days, I got side tracked. I basically wrote an update with my psychiatrist and where we are now with my suicidality. I also wrote about meeting my therapist this week. It might end up being a phone session because there is rain in the forecast. I hate driving in the rain so it might be better to wait a week. I don’t know. I’ll check the forecast Tuesday and see what the weather is going to be like before cancelling my reservation for the car. The weather might change by then.

Pain has been a constant for me today. Either my foot or my ankle keeps flaring up. Sometimes, both. It’s so annoying because I don’t know what pain pill to take and what time to take it because it is so sporadic. Just becomes so frustrating. And the type of pain varies as well. Just drives me nuts.

I finally sold a Kindle book. I am excited about that. A friend of mine in Ireland bought it. She wants me to help her publish her poems. She writes really good poems. She sent me the document today to look over, which I will do some time this week. It will give me something to do.

I sent last night’s blog to my psychiatrist but I haven’t received a response. Maybe she hasn’t read it yet. I haven’t sent my therapist any blogs other than the one I wrote before our break. It was about our relationship. I miss sending her stuff but with my suicidality being so bad, I really don’t want her to know if we are ending. I still don’t know if this is going to happen or not. I will find out Wednesday what her decision will be. It still kills me that after sixteen years, she finally figures out she can’t help me anymore. I feel so let down and heartbroken.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to do nothing on a snowy Sunday

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    I don’t blame you for being heartbroke, I think I would be too! I will finish adding to the document and get it to you. probably tonight. xxx

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