this is the pain that never ends…

This is the pain that never ends…

I have been in pain all damn day. My tolerance for it is slowly diminishing. I haven’t been too active today but it doesn’t care. I did manage to take a shower, which my back didn’t like. It kept on cramping on me. I am ready to call UNCLE and take my strong pain pill. I take my meds in about 45 mins so I will decide then whether or not to take it. I just came up the stairs so my foot/ankle are angry with me.

I got the tail end of BPD chat on twitter. I met another transgender person so I followed him and he followed me back. He is also a writer, which is cool. I hope we can become friends. It would be nice to have another TG person to talk to about the issues we face.

I read a little more than a chapter in the Robert Lowell book. He has an interesting history dating back to the Mayflower. I love reading about people that have such detailed ancestors dating way back. I don’t know much about my lineage. And unfortunately, with my father gone, there is no way of knowing. I know I can go to like but it’s not the same when it’s handed down from generation to generation. There are a lot of cousins in Italy and France that I know of but they don’t know me and I don’t know them. It’s kind of sad. I don’t speak either language so that makes it harder to keep the lines of communication open.

I have been tired for most of the day. I have so far avoided taking a nap. It will be bed time soon so I can go to sleep then. I hope I can sleep. Pain is usually the number one reason to keep me up more than my thoughts. And the way my ankle and toes are feeling right now, I doubt I will be able to sleep. It’s a gnawing type of pain that goes right into my bones. And I just realized I haven’t done my med box for the week. SHIT! I totally forgot. I guess I will take them on the fly tonight and then fill it tomorrow. I can’t stand too long to fill the box. My ankle will kill me the way it’s hurting right now.

Other than calling three therapists tomorrow, I have no other plans. It’s supposed to be warmer so I might go to Starbucks to write. I have to get a frappucino to complete my stars reward. Tomorrow is the last day as I forgot to get one on Friday. I like the rewards because you get to get free stuff faster. I also need to get some coffee for the house. I got half a bag or less of Pike so need to get it before I run out. I love Pike coffee. I used to get their breakfast blend coffee but I think I am just going to stick with Pike as I am so used to it. When I don’t have it, I can tell right away that it’s different. I hope the spring brings in new flavors of their Reserve coffees. I haven’t seen one that I like yet. I got an email from Starbucks the other day that had notes of apricot. No thanks! I like apricot as a fruit, not in my coffee.

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