pistachios are yummy!

Pistachios are yummy!

I got up around noon. I woke up a few times during the night because of pain. My pain was gone when I did wake up but soon as I started moving around, it came back. I had to go to Walgreens to pick up my script. I had put in one request and there were three when I got there. I don’t know how that happened. I got some snacks and my meds and went home. My Achilles was killing me by the time I reach my door but settled down after I took off my sneakers. I think they were a little tight so I will loosen the laces next time I go out.

I filled my med box and got hungry so I made a burger. I have one left which I will make for dinner. I just made a cup of tea as I didn’t go to the store to get half and half. Walgreens doesn’t sell it. They sell other creamers but not half and half. I am going to try and resist going back to sleep. I don’t know if I will be successful. I am really tired. Chronic pain really exhausts you.

I am feeling pretty depressed. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to sleep. I feel so depleted. I hate feeling this way. I just feel like I am a lump on a log. I have no energy to do anything. I thought about cleaning the blades of my ceiling fan but I don’t really know where the wand is to do it. And I don’t feel like trying to find it. It will be another day.

My ankle is really hurting. I took some regular pain meds a little while ago. I hope this isn’t the start of the bullshit I went through last night. Last night was horrible. I was in so much pain and nothing was calming it down. Then around 0100, things finally did calm down after I had taken a bunch of stuff (not all together). I still need to shower but not sure it is going to happen. I just don’t have the energy for it. I just want to drink my tea and maybe read my book.

Sox are on a losing streak. I am so disappointed and sad. It’s still early in the season but it’s almost June and my hopes for this season are slowly diminishing. I rarely watch the games anymore. I just follow the news feed on Twitter. I don’t even comment on how bad they do because I am out of swear words to call them. There are only so many fucks you can say. Either the pitching is really bad or the offense is. When both are, holy lost game. They have the talent, I just think they don’t care or maybe they are trying too hard. I don’t know. But it’s painful to see.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to pistachios are yummy!

  1. G. Collerone says:

    I wish it would give me a break, too. Another day and I wake up in the same pain. I just want to die

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    aw sorry the pain was so bad again, it never gives you any sorta break. I wish it would.just for a day or two even. Then you cound breathe a little. xx

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