I was finally able to shower after almost a week. I took a chance because my pain levels were low. I took a nap after my previous blog. I kept dreaming of going to the bathroom and sure enough when I woke up, I had to pee. My mother was making dinner and it was almost ready. She made vegetables and mashed potatoes and chicken cutlets. It was good.

I am still feeling crummy emotionally. I just want to hide under a rock. I don’t know if I am going to sleep good because I slept for about 2.5 hours. I’m hoping that I don’t wake up in the middle of the night again. It seems to be a recurring theme. It just ruins the whole day and it’s taking its toll on me emotionally.

I got a call from my PCP’s office that my prescription is ready for pick up. I am not sure if I will be able to go by tomorrow or not. It all depends on if I am done with my errands and such. I hope there aren’t a lot of boxes to carry from my therapist’s office. It will suck bringing it into the house. I’m kind of nervous getting my things back. It will be a lot of memories.

It’s almost 0400. I woke up around 0300 because of bloody side effects or withdrawal. I can’t be sure. My checks came in so I bought my groceries and paid a couple of bills. My bladder was calling next so I went to the bathroom. To my surprise, I had to have a bowel movement. I don’t usually have to go at this hour but I was grateful as it’s been almost a week since my last movement. Strong pain pill has that side effect. I have been trying to take less but it hasn’t been working out. I feel relieved now that I have went.

The side effects are calming down but my foot/ankle pain has ramped up. I can’t fucking win. I took my regular pain meds because it’s all I can take right now. I will be driving so I don’t want to take the heavy stuff. If it gets worse, I am going to have to. I have a high pain tolerance. I was trying to explain it to my therapist and I don’t think he got it. He wanted to know who I was angry at after I told him. Pissed me off. I still don’t know if it’s going to work out with him. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt as he does things quite differently.

any thoughts?

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