when you want a burrito but GrubHub is too expensive…

When you want a burrito but GrubHub is too expensive

I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I got up around noon. I made coffee afterwards and had a butterbeer cookie that I made. It was good but now my tastes are turning towards Mexican and I want a burrito. Unfortunately, GrubHub was too expensive and I wasn’t sure what kind of meat “Muchaka” is. I wasn’t going to pay $30 for two items when I can get more than that at Chipotle. So in an hour, I will go to the Square to get my burrito fix.

It’s kind of good that I will be going to the Square because I can get some ground beef to make my dirty gravy on Monday. I would make it tomorrow but I am going to my Aunt’s house and I just don’t have time. My mother just made a gravy but she froze most of it. I really would love to have penne pasta with my sauce.

I’ll probably got to Starbucks to write after I eat. I still haven’t showered and I really don’t want to. I just feel really blah and my foot/ankle is a mess. It’s really bothering me so I know that standing is going to be painful. It most likely will exhaust me so I will try and take it tonight so it might help me sleep. I had a shitty sleep last night, waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep.

This month is Pride month and I so want to tell my mother I am trans. Monday I plan on talking to my therapist about going forward with transition. I am just afraid my mother will flip out and kick me out of the house. I know that is my fear and there is a 45% chance she would. I am just afraid it will further strain our relationship. I am just tired of being called “her” and “miss” or “missy”. It just hurts and drives my suicidal drivers.

More later…

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