burrito fix satisfied

Burrito fix satisfied

It was cool in the house, so I thought it would be the same outside. I wore my new Sox hoodie and I was sweating by the time I reached the bus stop. My cousin saw me and gave me a ride. While we were talking, I told him I was trans. He accepted it better than I thought he would, though I don’t think he really got it. He just thought, I think, that I meant I was gay. I told him I was going to transition to being a male. He seemed ok with the idea, much to my relief. I told him that my mother just pushed me over the edge and I had enough of not being who I really am.

I got my burrito at Chipotle and took it to Starbucks where I had a iced tea Lemonade. I didn’t want more caffeine because I just had coffee. The burrito was good. And then I wrote in my journal for a bit. I wanted to go to the butcher shop to get some ground beef. My mother wanted me to check the price of the chicken wings and fish. The fish was too expensive and the chicken was too fatty. I’ll get them at Stop and Shop.

I’m feeling really good that I came out to my cousin and him accepting me. I wish my mother could. My foot acted up on the bus ride home and got worse when I got up to my room. I’m going to rest and then try to take a shower. I think that will help my mood a little bit. I really want to change my sheets so they don’t keep coming undone but I am too tired and I really don’t want my back to hurt. I’ll do it sometime next week.

Another hit to the chronic pain community. I just read an article that stated addiction treatment centers do not routinely test for drugs because of various reasons, mostly due to the “cost”, yet it’s perfectly acceptable to test a chronic pain patient at random or routinely. This really pissed me off because I am one of many chronic pain patients that get tested, even though I do take my meds the way I am supposed to. I don’t use more, I don’t sell or give away my meds, I adhere to the policy in the contract that I signed because I need these meds to function and want to have some kind of life outside the four walls of my room. I am so sick of pain patients going through this rigmarole because addicts have taken over the truthfulness of true chronic patients. It just saddens me.

I’m going to have some ice cream. I have been thinking about it since leaving the Square. Until later…

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to burrito fix satisfied

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    i’m sad that it has come to this for chronic pain sufferers. it really isn’t acceptable. but then addicts take over everything, and all the attention goes on them, which I personally think is wrong. xxx

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