feeling like I lost time but I didn’t

Feeling like I lost time but I didn’t

I woke up around 0500 in pain so instead of taking my pain meds, I took Neurontin. I don’t remember the dose, but I fell asleep about an hour later. I slept pretty hard because I didn’t get up till 1300 or so. I was brushing my teeth when my psych called me. I was supposed to call her in the morning to check in. I planned on calling her when I got back to my room but she beat me to it. We talked and I told her I was fine right now and didn’t need to be in the hospital. She said to keep in touch with her via email or page.

The reason I had to call her was that I paged her last night because I got really suicidal and I was in a lot of pain. I had taken everything I could for my pain and there was no relief. We talked about going in the hospital today and I was seriously considering it. I think if my mood wasn’t better in the morning, I might have gotten my stuff together and meet up with her in the ER. But I was “better” and didn’t feel the need for a hospital stay.

After the phone call, I got dressed and went to the post office and Rite Aid. I needed to mail off a package and get some more cream for my coffee. As I was making my coffee, my PCP’s office called saying my prescription was ready to be picked up. I really wasn’t planning on going into town but I needed my meds. It was hot today so I just changed shorts, grabbed my coffee, and left to catch the bus that would be coming soon.

After getting my script, I went to get my haircut. I had a bit of a wait but I didn’t mind. Unfortunately, by that time, I was wondering where the day went and felt like I lost time because I slept all morning. It’s rare that I sleep past noon without waking up at least once. I guess between my exhaustion from pain and the Neurontin, I was zonked. I got my cut and then went to Chipotle for my dinner. It was the only thing I had today. I ate it at Starbucks and had an iced tea/lemonade. I wanted to write in my journal for a bit. Oral fixation guy was there chewing on some kind of string as he did stuff on his laptop. It was kind of disgusting so I tried not to look at him while I ate and wrote.

I went to Walgreens to get my script filled and then came home. I needed a shower and took one. My foot by that time had enough and didn’t want to bear weight at all. I almost fell twice. At one point, I thought I was going to fall backwards as my balance felt off. I quickly got out and dried off. Luckily there were no mishaps while getting dressed. Now I am going to take my meds soon and go back to sleep. I am fricken exhausted. I got through to my dentist and have an appointment tomorrow morning. I got to set my alarm so I don’t sleep through it. I know I will have to go back next week to get my cavity filled. Not looking forward to that. I hope that one cavity is still the only one I have.

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