My biggest fan and now new ankle sprain

I asked my psych why she wants me to live so badly and she says she is my biggest fan, wants me to write another book (offered to write her biography, she declined), and I have something to offer to the world. Guess I’ve rubbed off on her after 26 yrs. *mind blown* She also said she was fond of me. Holy fuck. I can’t deal. I so wanted to end things this weekend. Now I am having a hard time with it. She wants me to call her some time early next week. If I don’t, she is going to call me. I can’t escape from her grip. Well I can but she is making it really hard.On the way home, I stepped on the curb where it wasn’t level. I nearly lost my balance. I twisted my “good” ankle, the one that was getting better. I had my brace on so I think it kept me from falling and possibly twisting it more than I did. I came home and took it off. I just relaxed for a while before hunger got the better of me. I looked at my ankle and there is a bruise forming. My PT is going to love that when I see her Tuesday. I put an ice pack on it after I ate. Move my foot and it still smarts. Hope it is better tomorrow but I doubt it.Even though my scale has been on the same weight the past week, my clothes are so much looser. I had a pair of jeans I wore today that were tight on me at the waist. No more. I think I’ve gone down a size. Even my PJs are loose on me! And they have an elastic band. Maybe the fat is being redistributed or something. I don’t know. I told my psych and she just wants me to see my pcp. I still am not eating my normal stuff. Yesterday I went to the game and only had 1 hot dog. I usually have at least three. I love their dogs. But I had no appetite. I also have been retaining my urine more. I am only going a couple times a day. I will have to let my pcp know. It could be my meds or it could be my nerves as my back has been hurting me more.I am so sore from the game. We walked all over the park. We met my cousins at the top top deck, which had me winded as there were stairs. I hated it. It a nice view but I like being on ground level. I had a good time as I love Fenway. But when I got home, my mood sunk.Today I felt like I was hit by a truck. Surprisingly, I could walk though I was sore. I was in a bad mood. I really didn’t want to see my psych but I pushed through. I didn’t tell my psych what my weekend plans were. I just couldn’t. Wish she would tell me what kind of book to write. She has said my writing has gotten better. Fuck. I said I won’t be winning the Pulitzer and she said that ok, she wasn’t looking for that. How she became my biggest fan, I haven’t a fricken clue. She surprises me all the time. I tried telling her I wasn’t going to see her again and she wouldn’t have it. I had either 1 or 2 weeks before I was to see her again. She gave me “the tone” so there was nothing I could do.

any thoughts?

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