I woke up surprisingly just before 0800. I didn’t have to babysit until around 0915. My foot and ankle were hurting me so I just took one pain pill. I wasn’t going to go out. I made myself breakfast and then read some Dostoevsky. I planned on writing what I needed to for the Adler chapter but I just couldn’t think straight and I was really groggy. When my niece’s grandmother came to pick her up around an hour later, I just went to bed. My mother called me like an hour later but I didn’t pick up.
I have been in pain for most of the week. I am glad I am seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon. I had emailed her a short email about how I was doing. Nothing bad. Just that I was in pain still and continuing to struggle with it. I apologized for not sending her any blogs because I felt they would be worrisome to her as my mood has been bleak. I don’t want her to know that I have been having suicidal thoughts and plan on acting on them.
I so need a shower. I plan on taking on soon. I also need to brush my teeth. I was going to do it this morning but I just couldn’t stand long enough. I was in too much pain.
The Sox game was on this afternoon but I didn’t watch it. They lost. Now I have the evening free. I am just going to shower and then take my meds and go to bed. Very interesting, I know. I just don’t feel like doing much. I kind of gave myself a writing assignment. Last night while going through my blogs, I found a quote from Dostoevsky and I think I am going to write more about it. The blog didn’t really say much about it. I got off tangent and it was hard to follow so I am writing a new one.