things accomplished today

Things accomplished today

I woke up in pain, again, so I took my pain meds. I fought off the drowsiness by making breakfast and coffee. I didn’t feel like going to the Square today as I wanted pizza for lunch. I made a deal with myself that if I went to the post office, I could get pizza for lunch. The pain had calmed down some by the time lunchtime rolled around so I made it to the post office and then got half a box of pizza. It was cheaper that way than getting two slices. My niece texted me saying that she needed a nip so I went to the liquor store after I picked up the pizza. I also checked my numbers. Yesterday, something was telling me to play my father’s numbers so I played. I won $3 so I played again for tonight’s drawing.

I came home and ate the pizza, all of it. It was good and I was hungry. I guess I won’t have supper tonight. I went back to my room and my mother called me. She left her insulin down my aunt’s house and wanted me to go get it. So I put my sneakers on and walked down the street, hoping my ankle didn’t fail on me because I didn’t carry my cane nor was I wearing the AFO. Now my ankle and foot really hate me. Before I rested, I emptied the barrels in my room into a trash bag. I had to empty them because they were almost overflowing. After I did that, I took two more pain pills and am now resting my damn foot. The same area that flared up last night is still hurting me today.

I didn’t change my sheets like I wanted to but at least I accomplished the other things. I will try and change them tomorrow if my pain isn’t too bad, and I get some sleep. The Neurontin really helped me sleep most of the night last night. But I had to take a huge dose of it. I think that is why I am so hungry today. Think I am going to have some golden Oreos soon. My sweet tooth is craving something sweet.

I was glad that the dentist office called in the afternoon and not in the morning like I thought they were going to. I have an appointment Monday for a cleaning. I have been better at brushing my teeth since my last visit so that is good. I hope I have no cavities. That will suck.

I might make my pumpkin cake this weekend. I know I will be the only one eating it but I don’t care. I like baking. I just hope I have some cool whip. Otherwise, I won’t be able to make it. That would be sad. I have been wanting to make this cake for a while now. I also need to have room in the fridge for it because it needs to be refrigerated.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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