pain depression tired day

I woke up to back pain today. It really depressed me. I didn’t want to do a damn thing today. My mother made bacon so I had a few strips of that. I have been munching a little here and there. I wanted coffee so I went to my sister’s apartment as that is where my half and half is. I told my brother in law to buy me another quart as he was going to the grocery store. I didn’t do my ankle any favors by going downstairs. It promptly started acting up. I had already taken some meds for my back so now I am going to stay in my room.

I am feeling really depressed. There isn’t anything that I have to do today. I don’t plan on going out. While I was downstairs, I checked to see if mail had come. It didn’t. I don’t know why I feel so down. I guess being in pain for another day is just depressing me.

I really don’t want to see my psychiatrist next week. I just think it’s pointless. I have been seeing her every week for most of January. I like seeing her, don’t get me wrong, but I really like to go back to every other week.

I started writing this around 1100 and each sentence was painful. I finally gave up and decided to come back to it. I am still feeling depressed. I had something to eat other than a protein bar. My mother made escarole soup so I had some of that. My brother-in-law made some pizza so I had some of that. I should have bought chocolate while at Walgreens yesterday. I think that is why I have been eating the protein bars because they have chocolate in them. Maybe if I feel better tomorrow, I will get some.

My mother is not feeling good. She finally is out of denial and realizes the docs were right and she does have shingles. I really hope I don’t catch it. Maybe tomorrow while at Walgreens, I will ask the pharmacist about it. I am staying clear of my mother but we use the same bathroom and stuff so I just worry.

I don’t know what set off my deep depression this morning. I think waking up in pain was part of it. I am feeling better now that I slept most of the afternoon. I put my phone on “do not disturb” so it wouldn’t bother me. The weird part was that I have it set up that if someone from my favorites calls me, it’s supposed to ring. My mother called three times and it didn’t. Weird.

My friend left me a couple messages on FB. She was sick with some virus earlier this week and now she got the stomach bug. I really wanted to video chat with her. Guess it won’t be today. I hope she feels better tomorrow. Stomach bugs suck.

Monday I plan on going back to my diet. I got to use up the protein shakes I bought. I have like 4 cases of them. I am glad I didn’t make the pumpkin cake that I wanted to make yesterday. That would have been bad. I meant to get the ingredients and everything but never did. Oh well. My foot is acting up again but it’s almost time for my night meds. I might take them early so I can take my pain meds and be done for the night. I still am tired even though I slept most of the day.

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