Random 477

I didn’t do anything today. I woke up late and ordered food. Pain was bad but not as bad as last night. I took my meds and waited for the food to get here. It was good and then I went back up to my room. I had started writing a blog but then I fell asleep. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. I took a nap.

I am in a better mood than I was before the nap. Everything was annoying me. I am tired of being in pain. That is the bottom line. I am wiped out. I have no more energy to deal. I am completely depleted. I just want to die because I just can’t face another day of pain. Tomorrow there is going to be a blizzard. I am not looking forward to it.

I still need to pack for the hospital. I will do it tomorrow, if I feel like it. I took my meds when I woke up and then had a piece of pumpkin cake. I have two slices left. I love this cake. My psych hasn’t written to me about it so I am guessing she hasn’t retrieved it from her office. I hope it is still there come Monday.

It’s been hot and cold in my room all day. I shut the fan off and within a half hour, it’s hot again. I turn it back on and I get cold. UGH, I am so frustrated. I hope the hospital temperatures are at an even keel but you never know. The door has to be open so that sucks. I can’t really sleep unless it’s closed but they don’t allow that for checks. I’m not looking forward to going in. Maybe I just overreacted and don’t need to be in at all. But I think I will feel safer if I am in the hospital than not when another flare up occurs.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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