Random 215

I woke up around 0430 and didn’t go back to sleep till around 0800. I had breakfast. After breakfast I took some pain meds and an Ativan to get back to sleep. I also took some Neurontin. That was my downfall because when I woke up, I really didn’t want to get out of bed. I had wanted to go to Starbucks, just to get out of the house, but I needed a shower and it just wasn’t happening. I was too groggy. I made coffee, hoping that would give me more energy but it made me sleepy. Or it just wasn’t strong enough to override the need for sleep.

I called my PCP’s office to see if my prescription was ready. It was but wasn’t. No one printed it out for me to pick up. That would explain why I never got a phone call saying it was ready to be picked up. I hope to pick it up tomorrow either before or after my appt with my psychiatrist.

After that, I called my mother to see what she was doing for dinner. She was going to heat up some lasagna from Sunday night. No thanks. I ordered a burger and onion rings. I waited an awfully long time for it to be delivered and the food was not as hot as I wanted it to be. Plus, they were very skimpy on the onion rings, though they did put some in the burger. That was weird as they never did that before. I still ate it and it’s probably going to be the only thing I eat today.

I am going to try and shower after I write this. My ankle is giving me grief so I am not sure I can just say fuck it and shower anyways. That usually has dire consequences. I am running low on my pain meds because it’s close to the end of the month so I can’t afford to take “extra” meds to quiet down a flare right now.

Last night was torturous. I had really bad pain, which began around 2 in the afternoon. I took my strong pain pill and then hoped for the best. Around 10 PM, the pain was still there and worse so I took another pill. While waiting for it to kick in, my ankle went berserk on me and I did, too. I got this band feeling around my ankle and that triggered my PTSD. I was flipping out I was going to get CES again. I tried to calm myself but the anxiety took over and I was very, very scared. I called my psychiatrist and had her tell me I wasn’t getting CES again. That seemed to calm me down some. I stayed up till around 1 am. I got hungry so I had something to eat around 0030. After eating, it seemed to settle me down so I could sleep for a few hours. I knew my sleep was going to be bad because I had taken two strong pain pills within 24 hours. It happens every time. I don’t know why.

I need to go out tomorrow so I will be going to Starbucks. I need to see my psychiatrist because I need some refills. Actually, all my psych meds need refills on them. I hope she has had better luck trying to find a therapist than I have. I’ll find out soon enough.


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