Saturday Blog 79

Saturday Blog 79

My sisters, their kids, and I went to the race track to commemorate my father’s anniversary today. We didn’t spread his ashes like I thought we would because it was too cold and rainy. My sisters and I had no idea how to bet on horses so my youngest sister asked someone. She got the general idea and I couldn’t care less. My sisters bet and they won. We had a few appetizers and drinks (non alcoholic). Then we left because my nephew had to get to work. It was an experience I don’t care to experience again. It was loud and noisy, things I don’t like.

I never made my gravy because I had a hard time sleeping. Around 0230, I woke from a dream with a thud. I thought my mother fell so I rushed to her room. She was sleeping soundly so I must have dreamt the thud. I couldn’t go back to sleep right away. It took nearly two hours for me to settle down. I woke up around 10 and didn’t have any motivation to cook, shower, or brush my teeth. I just went to the bathroom and then went back to my room. I got hungry so I figure I might as well brush my teeth before eating to do something. I then made coffee to try and stay awake. I made the coffee perfectly but I was still tired.

Walking around the place at the track was no good for me and my ankle. I was hurting so bad. I couldn’t wait to leave so I could take meds and rest. I made a TV dinner for supper as my mother had leftovers. Tomorrow we are supposed to see my aunt. I hope I get some rest because I am sick of waking up in the middle of the night for no good reason or because of pain. It just makes me miserable for the rest of the day. I really need to make the beef I bought so I need energy to cook. I hope the visit with my aunt isn’t a drawn out affair. Last time I was totally exhausted after the visit.

My ankle is throbbing so bad that it is making me feel on edge. I feel physically sick because I am so tired of being in pain. I just want to cry. I feel like the slightest thing that goes wrong and I am going to explode. I am glad I don’t have to deal with anyone tonight because my nerves are so shot. I might take an Ativan to relax me some. I hate feeling keyed up for no reason, though being in pain is a reason. My tolerance seems to become less and less with each day that it’s so bad. All week I have been dealing with it consistently. I just want a break from it and I just can’t seem to get one.

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