pain blog and other things

Pain blog and other things

I tried to lie down to sleep and my foot promptly exploded in pain. I had to sit up and take some pain meds. I am very tired. I somehow managed to take a shower. It was really difficult because I really didn’t want to but my head was gross from not taking one all week. I hate it when my head is greasy looking. I am glad I took one because that means I can sleep a little later tomorrow. I need to leave the house by 1100 to catch the bus to the Square. My appt with my psych is at 1300 so that leaves me a couple hours to have my espresso and write in my journal for a little bit. If I get up earlier, I will try and get a haircut.

One of my good friends sent me a picture of a mother giraffe kissing its baby. The photo is captioned April and the baby but I have seen the picture before so I know it’s not recent. I love the picture though.

I really would like to get some sleep but pain is keeping me up. I have to wait at least an hour for the strong pain pill to work. I fucking hate waiting! I want it to work now! I might put on the lidocaine gel but the pain is in my bones so I am not sure it will be effective. It’s so frustrating to be in different types of pain every single night. I wish I had a one treatment fits all but I don’t. It is so annoying to take this pill for this pain and that pill for that pain. The hardest part is that I don’t know if it is really going to work. I just take it and cross my fingers.

I emailed a friend of mine that I haven’t heard from in a while. We exchanged Easter greetings but that was it. So I started with my story about my pain and stuff and I hope she tells me about what is going on in her life. I miss our conversations.

Next week when I get paid, I am thinking of spending $100 on scratch tickets and see if I win anything. I haven’t done anything like this before but I want to do something wild. I have a favorite scratch ticket but I don’t know if they sell it anymore as I haven’t seen it in a while. I will have to check it out. I even forgot the name of it because I haven’t bought it in so long. If they don’t have the ticket I am looking for, I won’t buy it.

Meds are finally kicking in so I hope I sleep through the night. I really don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night again. I hope it doesn’t happen.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to pain blog and other things

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    lol buying 100 dollars worth of scratch cards is pretty wild! If you do it let us know whether you won anything! I’m sorry the pain is so bad and nothing is working. Sending hugs to you my friend. xxx

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s