Sunday Mass

Sunday Mass

My family went to the Sunday mass for my father’s remembrance. It was a quick mass and the priest said his name correctly. It was touching. Afterwards we went out for breakfast at my new favorite place down the street from where we live. It was good until I spilled juice on my niece. My hands were greasy and I didn’t have a good hold on the cup. I felt like an idiot.

My nephew had a hard time with things today. He was close to his grandfather. It’s hard on the kids more than my sisters. It’s such a huge void in their lives.

I am still feeling the grief of my father. I can’t believe he has been gone a year. It’s been a difficult year. I don’t know how I managed with just one hospitalization. I know there have been times this year that I needed to go in but I didn’t for one reason or another. I just don’t find them useful anymore. Sure, it’s a place to be safe at but they really don’t offer much in ways of coping with stress or dealing with your issues. Most times, they just check you in and then discharge you before you are ready to leave. I hate that and it usually leads to people being readmitted a few days later. The mental health system sucks.

This afternoon, I am going south of Boston to see my friends and go out to dinner. It’s not raining but it is cold. It should be a good time. I am really looking forward to it. I am in pain but I think if I rest now, I should be fine by the time I have to leave. I have to look at the bus schedules and see which one comes first. There are two buses that go to the station I need to go to. There are no buses to the Square today. I would have to get off at another square and walk up the street, which would suck and wear me out so I am not doing that. I do have to change trains but I am going to get off at Downtown Crossing, go to Starbucks, and then catch the red line. I need espresso today because I woke up so friggen early for mass and I never got up to make my coffee. I could make it now but Starbucks espresso would be better. I will only have two shots because it will be late in the afternoon and I don’t want to be up all night.

I filled my med box last night when I couldn’t sleep. I made sure to put my trilafon in. I forgot to put it in last week so I missed a couple days. I always forget because the pill bottle is by my bed not on my bureau where the other meds are. I have it close to me because I need to take a 1 PM dose. That is how I take it. It works well for me and I have no side effects that are noticeable.

I just went “shopping” on Amazon. This place is like crack to me. I spend so much money I should have stock in it. I rebought the things that got lost in the mail a few weeks ago for my friend and also some stuff for another friend in Australia. It’s going to be fun shipping that to him. There were only 4 left in stock so I bought 2 packages and then paid for it. I was going to wait until tomorrow when I got paid but I didn’t want to risk losing it as he really needs this item. It’s not available where he is. I am just happy to help him.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Sunday Mass

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    I am glad the mass was a success. your friend will be so pleased to get mail. I know hen someone mails me package I am always so delighted to get it. sending hugs, sorry for your grief. xx

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