Freaking Friday

Freaking Friday

I woke up around 0430 because my bladder told me to. Luckily, I was able to go back to sleep after taking some pain meds. I didn’t want to get up around 1030. I had an hour or so before I had to catch the bus to see my psych. I really wanted to cancel it but I needed to talk to her and get a refill on my Zoloft.

I got to the Square and went to Starbucks. I had espresso and a breakfast sandwich. By the time I was done, it was time to catch the train. The appt went okay. I told her I was still suicidal because I am just fed up. She said to call her if I was going to through with my plans. She refilled my prescription and I see her in two weeks.

I went back to the square and the bus was late. Actually, it never showed up and I was pissed because there was an asshole at the bus depot playing his music on his phone full fucking blast. I could barely hear my music through MY headphones it was so damn loud. I really thought I was going to lose it. And he was hitting on every girl that went by him, which disgusted me. Normally I don’t mind but he was just being loud and obnoxious about it. And of course the asshole was on my bus. There were some teenagers that got on so he had to talk with them. The bus couldn’t go fast enough to get this jerk off his stop.

I went to the pharmacy to get my prescription. I also checked out some electric razors while I was there but didn’t like any that I saw and they were out of my price range. The one that I had died on me and would like to replace it. My bad foot was ready to kill me by the time I got home. It felt like I was walking on rocks. I switched my shoes to sneakers for the AFO. That seemed to help my Achilles so it wasn’t rubbing against the lump so much. I was glad it helped. I was still in pain but walking was better and I wasn’t putting so much weight on my bad foot to stop the Achilles pain on my right.

My mother didn’t make anything special for dinner so I am on my own. I might order Chinese food once my foot calms down some. I thought about getting some while I was waiting for the bus as there is a Chinese restaurant around the corner from the bus depot but I didn’t have cash on me and I didn’t know if they took debit cards. I don’t go to that place often.

Now that I am home, I just want to sleep and not wake up. The bottom of my bad foot hurts so bad that I really don’t want to move but my bladder is telling me I need to use the bathroom soon. I wish there was a half bath where the bedrooms are. It would make life so much easier. I really need a shower as it was warm today and I just sweat a lot. It was stuffy in my room when I woke up early this morning so I turned the AC on. It’s cool in my room now so I don’t have to turn it on again. I love having it in my window and needing it when I need it. Today is the first really warm day in a while. I hope the weekend is warm. Sunday, I made plans to see my aunt with my sisters. I am looking forward to it.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Freaking Friday

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    I hope the planned visit with your aunt was good. I’m glad the psych apt went well and she said you could call her if you need to. x

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