Sunday Baseball

Sunday Baseball

It’s been a slow day. I’m listening to the ball game after I watched some of it in the kitchen. I ordered pizza as I was craving it. I sweated a lot while in the hot kitchen and when I was done with my pizza, I went upstairs and turned on the AC. I had shut it off to give it a bit of a rest as it had been running since Friday night.

I have been fighting a nap all day. I made coffee but I still feel tired. My mother made pasta and sauce for dinner. I am a sucker for pasta. I still need to make my dirty gravy but it’s too hot to cook in the kitchen right now. If we ever have low seventy days, I will thaw the meat out and make it.

I was having cramps for most of the day yesterday so I emailed my psych on what to do. I had taken baclofen, Ativan, and magnesium supplements and still had no effect on my foot. She said to drink tonic water. I wanted to reply and ask with or without gin. HAHA. I’ll have to go to the liquor store and get some. In the meantime, I have been taking some old dissolvible quinine tablets that I got at the Vitamin Shoppe years ago before I was on Ativan. I practically begged my psych to put me on Ativan after a wicked bad spasm caused an ankle sprain, which lead to CRPS eventually. I was so embarrassed to tell people I had sprained my ankle because of a cramp. I had a big boot on for a while and then a smaller boot for weeks. It was awful. I never healed because my job was so demanding with walking around the lab and stuff. I was constantly going from one building to another to the office which was a few blocks away and back. I was able to keep my weight in check back then. It all went to shit when I had a psych hospitalization and then I was let go at my work because of my disability. Then I didn’t care what I weighed. I still have been stable the last few years, losing and gaining the same 5-8 pounds, which Neurontin likes to hold on to.

I was able to shower because my pain was low. It’s getting up there now. My foot is just aching. Today has been a better day though, which I am grateful. I filled my pill box after my shower to get it out of the way. I’ll be taking my meds soon as I am really tired.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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