random 154

Random 154

I went to bed at a decent hour because the meds knocked me out. Then I woke up at 0100 and went to sleep two hours later. I had enough and sent my psychiatrist an email. I asked her how I was to get to the unit she wants me on. She is trying to get me a bed for tomorrow or Wednesday. I haven’t done much today except sleep. I planned on making myself something to eat around noon but that didn’t happen. I ended up falling asleep and not waking up until my mother called asking me what I wanted for dinner. She made fish and chips. Then I had a couple of muffins and toast. Now I am full.

I haven’t texted my therapist all day. The last text I sent her was last evening saying I was “high”. I have no idea why I texted her that. I was loopy as anything from the strong pain meds. It was like I was drunk but I hadn’t been drinking. I hate that feeling.

It snowed today. I must have missed the weather report on Twitter. I had no idea there was snow in the forecast. Seems this week is going to be shitty. I just hope that I can get to where I need to go without delays. I need to take a shower and cut my fingernails. Hate doing both, but it needs to happen. I also got to check my bag to see if I have T-Shirts. I don’t remember if I packed them or not. All these little details that go into an admission. I hate it. There is no guarantee that I will have my phone. I have no idea what kind of unit they have as I have never been on it. First time for everything, I guess.

Other than the blog world, I haven’t told anyone but one friend that I am going in the hospital. I am glad that I am going to one in Boston rather than the other hospital I went to in May. It’s just more convenient transit wise. My doc said that I might have to go through the ER to get a bed. I don’t know what they will do for me, but at least I won’t have my medication, all of them, at my disposal 24/7.

Man, I started this blog a half hour ago and took my pain meds. Now I am feeling the effects of it. I’m ready to go back to sleep. Least I am not in as much pain as I was. I think the strong pain pill broke the cycle of severe pain that I was in. I am glad because it was driving me crazy. I don’t take the pill every day or even every other day. Just when I can’t stand the pain anymore or the regular pain pill isn’t working. If I had known the meds were going to work this quickly, I would have waited a little longer.

I’m hoping my psych gets back to me before my therapy appointment and tells me to go to the hospital so I don’t have therapy. I really don’t want to talk to my therapist. Least being in the hospital will give me a much needed break from her. I know she will be happy not to have sessions with me. I am sure my suicidality has given her nightmares.

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