just another day of pain

I’ve been having not so good a day. I woke up late, around 11 after going to bed around 0230 because of pain. I was in a rotten mood. I had eight straight hours of intense pain and I was losing my mind. Last night, a few hours after I took my night meds, I started to feel nauseous. It has been happening the last few nights so I will be decreasing the Zoloft to 100 mg starting tonight. I emailed my psych about this but haven’t heard back from her.

I was able to shower and brush my teeth. My ankle started hurting really bad after I washed up. It was difficult to get dried off and dressed. I didn’t bring down my PJs or my glasses or my phone, so I had to go up to my room to get it. I didn’t want to be walking around in my boxers as it’s cold out today. When I got these things, I made lunch, which further stressed my ankle. I took breaks but my ankle didn’t care.

After I ate, I got my laptop and my special screwdriver tools to see the connection and part number for my laptop screen. I was able to remove the sucker but had a hard time putting it back! Fucking thing. I had to watch a YouTube video to find out where the pins went in. I was able to put it back and then I turn on my laptop. The screen was worse than it was before. FUCK. I tried moving the lid to see if that helped and that just made it worse. So now I am using my older laptop. I will be using this until I am able to buy another screen next week. I hope that with me playing with the connector I didn’t damage it.

I decided to make coffee and used too much water. Coffee didn’t taste good. Then the brace clinic called. Their next available is Nov 28th. Not like I need the brace NOW or anything. This just topped my day. And of course, when I came back to my room, my ankle bone and the tendons under it flared up. I am in so much pain. I have been using the app the PT told me to use. I have been finding that I do poorly when my pain is high but I do better when it’s medium or low. So when my pain is high, I am not going to use it. I am so disgusted with being in pain all the time. I can’t wait till Thursday when I see my PCP. I am going to demand being put on a longer acting med so I can get some relief at night. If he doesn’t do it, I am going to end it. I can’t go on like this. It’s maddening. Draining all hope, making me fatigued, can’t socialize with friends. What kind of life is that?

2 thoughts on “just another day of pain

  1. fibroawarenessproject

    I know people aren’t always looking for tips, but a med called Trazadone has helped me sleep through the pain. It wont necessarily help knock you out (I rely on medical cannabis for that :/). but it helped me so so much. Sorry for what you’re going through.

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