one week post op

One week post op

I just had a shower to get rid of the hospital smell and to wash my growing hair that needs it. It has been a few days since I last washed it. My mother dried my back and she said I was hairy. She doesn’t get it. HAHA I thought she would know by now that I am on hormones seeing as I have facial hair but she isn’t making the connection and I am not going to enlighten her.

My groceries came today from a different vendor. I had my niece help bring them to my room as I couldn’t carry it. I am not supposed to be lifting anything but it is hard remembering. After the groceries were put away, I took a nap until my sister got into an argument with her daughter. I had no idea what the fuck they were arguing about. My niece left shortly thereafter, before I got into the shower. It was nice to shower but very tiring. I don’t think people realize just how tiring it is for people with chronic illness and pain to shower. I know my fellow pain sufferers understand this.

I plan on making a steak for dinner. Hopefully it will give me the protein and iron I need to get to feeling better and not so tired all the time. I also bought chili which I will have tomorrow with some tortillas. I love making a burrito with the chili and eating it like that. I wish I bought red potatoes. I would love a red potato salad right now, with oil and vinegar not mayo. I love a potato salad with oil and vinegar. It tastes so good. I like it with mayo too but will prefer oil and vinegar.

I read a chapter in my book. Seems I can read a chapter and then lose interest when it comes to an end. I want to finish reading the book as it is due in a couple of weeks. I don’t know if the library will be open by that time. Everything is still in lockdown with the virus. I haven’t kept up on the reports for how long it will be as I have been staying off Twitter with my recovery. It is hard to listen to all day long and about the rebellion of youngsters or even others who don’t care about themselves yet profess to care for others. The real trenches are the lab workers and assistants to get blood samples and other specimens processed. There are also the cafeteria workers and cleaning people that always seems to get missed in times like this. They do their job without opposition and they are often down cast but without them, trash would just be piling up and no one would eat in hospitals.

My sister was telling me that there were 50 nurses at the hospital I was at with the virus. I hope they recover and don’t die. I don’t know the age groups but sad to think that healthcare workers aren’t immune to this kind of stuff. Front line people. Makes me sad.

My other sister made beets. I was craving them so I am glad she made them. They were good. Just roasted them with salt and pepper. I wish I had ranch dressing to go with them but I don’t. The hospital where I was has good beets you eat at the salad bar. They are yummy with ranch dressing. I miss eating in the café. Maybe when all of this is over I will get some beets during one of my visits. I am going there next week to get my stitches out. I didn’t have OT or PT call me today. I found that kind of odd. The orders are there for them to see me but I think with the way the virus is, they are limiting people into homes. Sucks all around.

day one home from surgery

Day one at home

Today has been rough. I did too much and caused myself to get a headache that I still have that the neurosurgeon is worried about. I have to go back on steroids for a week to see if that helps calm things down. I am trying to sleep but it isn’t coming. I have too much on my mind.

My numbers for my blog stats have been terrible. All day I have just had three views so I am hoping this post will draw some readers out. I know I have been sporadic in my writing but I am recovering from surgery right now. Meds are making comprehension difficult and concentration has been worse. Because of the steroids, I have some appetite. Unfortunately, meals have been difficult to sit through as it hurts my head to be upright. I rather be laying down.

I had an appointment with my therapist today but we didn’t get much accomplished as the connection was terrible. I was kind of out of it so that didn’t help matters. She put me down for another time next week so I think I should be better by then, or at least less druggy. Today was a real test as I had a lot of phone calls. I got accepted for the Ride, a disability transportation service but I can’t seem to navigate it on my phone or laptop so will have to call tomorrow to set something up.

I want to try and shower tomorrow. I don’t have a health care worker coming in yet and for some reason I am on MRSA precautions. I don’t know when that happened. But the nurse was worried about it and sent off a special stethoscope for the clinicians to use. Nothing fancy about it just deemed “MRSA”. I have no use for it as I use my blood pressure cuff for my readings and my own thermometer. I have no fever so that is good. I think I would be feeling sicker if I was. I have been feeling hot and cold all day, running the fan, shutting it off, turning it back on. I also have been taking my long shirt sleeve shirt off and on all day. I don’t know why I seem to run hot then cold then back hot again. Hope I am not getting sick. I worry with those that are outside the home may bring it in, like my nieces and nephew and sisters. I am at a high risk because I am just off of surgery and am on steroids. I have been trying to keep fluids up but it has been a challenge. I don’t like standing right now as it hurts. I have been able to void on my own though. Last night I had to put myself on a timer so I would go. It worked but disrupted my sleep and then the bowels did their thing on me. Luckily, I didn’t lose control or I would have been crushed. I did have to change my underwear though. I didn’t want to track the stuff to my wound. I don’t have a bandage on so I am careful about what I touch around the scar.

The one question that I am shocked I keep getting asked about is suicide and suicidal thinking. The nurse today very concerning asked about it and wanted me to let her know if I have those thoughts. I am not having them because I got other stuff on my mind. I am depressed because I feel like I should be somehow a long better than what I am but I am only a week post op. I am having a hard time keeping track of pain medication management because I was used to a nurse bringing me the meds. Now I got to sort it all out. I spoke to my pcp about it and he is okay with the increase in the interim while I am recovering. I’ll get a refill next week when I am due for one. I am glad I can talk to him about my pain med needs. Some docs don’t want to hear it after surgery. I had a hard time finding a doc to listen when I had back pain like this. In the end, my pcp put me on pain meds and there it stayed. My pain meds have always been managed by my pcp and I am glad because they get to see what you are like more so than a specialist.

Post Op

Hey all,

I had surgery Thursday. It went well and I did have a tethered cord and a messed up disc. They repaired that. Aside from horrendous post op pain I am healing as well as can be. I am getting frustrated with how slowly things are going but to be expected. I can’t rush my recovery. So far bladder is functioning the same as it was. I am not drinking a lot so having little outputs. Sometimes the urge is strong enough for me to pee on my own. Other times I got to cath or I just don’t have any urge and have to cath after 4-5 hours. Urologist said I might have to go every half hour in the beginning. Luckily it hasn’t worked out that way yet. Most I am going is every three to four hours, which is what uro wants.

I will be in the hospital until at least Tues, barring any complications. PT has been wearing me out severely so they don’t want me going home until my stamina is a little better. I am progressing every day. I’m just not where they want me to be right now. A lot of movement tends to wear me out so fast. Just getting up to pee is tiring. And there is not a lot of steps from my bed to the bathroom. I still need to call someone when I have to go just in case I fall.

I have hit a bit of more depression because of my frustration of not being able to move the way I used to. Back pain is bad but is getting slowly better. I haven’t had this much pain in so long. I am glad they increased my BT to the same dose I am taking extended release med. I hope my pcp can keep this change while I recover as it really helps. I just don’t like the constipation all these meds are causing. I can’t wait to go home and take Miralax twice a day as I know it might cause colon blow but it is so needed right now. I am so bloated from not going.

Sleep has been elusive but I hopefully will be getting my meds earlier than I did last night. Last night I got them really late so had a difficult time getting to sleep. Plus RN wanted me to take a med at 2 am so I didn’t want to sleep then be woken up. I ended up sleeping until 330 when I woke up to pee. Bladder is good for that. Seems that time is my regular time. I hate it. But I end up cathing to make sure I am empty so I can sleep.

My roommate went home. He was a dude from Maine with similar issues as me with the back. We exchanged numbers and said we’d call. Don’t know if it will happen. He seems to be a good man. Tends to talk a lot in circles but he is an older gentleman.

I hope I don’t have a problem sleeping. I am so tired I feel like I can sleep through the night. Hope I do.

Public transportation disability services and stuff

Public transportation disability services and stuff

I had my interview with disability services to get a Ride to where I need to go for medical appointments and other things as long as they were T accessible. I think I got approved as the guy said I should hear back within two to three days. I am hoping two because the third day I will be in surgery. I was wicked beat after the appointment but I had to go to Walgreens for my mother and get some more Gatorade to last me until Thurs. I worked out a system with my bag with my former coworkers as I will need my phone charger more than anything else. I don’t think I will have anything by mouth the first day as I will be flat on my back the first 24 hours. Hospital is in shut down mode so my outpatient appointments have become either phone or video appointments. I spent most of the time this morning getting phone calls about this. I did call my neurosurgeon’s NP and surgery is scheduled. I am to report at the times they gave me. Just thinking about this has given me such anxiety. I spent most of the night prepping my bag with stuff I want to take with me. The last thing I needed was Gatorade. I think I have everything but the meds that they may not have in formulary.

After the trip with Walgreens I started wheezing. I know it is because I am tired and it was cold out as I was rushing to get back home. I just wanted to be in my room under the covers. I gave up keeping the window open. It got too cold in my room. I would have to close it anyway in a few days so just as well. One less thing to worry about. I talked with my ex-supervisor at work and he is lending me my old locker to store my stuff in it so I have a place to put it. This way I don’t have to worry about my family bringing me stuff when my coworkers are already there. Please give a shout out to the medical pathology departments in your hospital because they are working just as hard as the doctors and nurses to give results that are needed for this crisis.

I hate having to cath. I honestly hope it is better after surgery because I cannot live like this anymore. It is just too fucking hard. The flashbacks of trauma don’t help. One day I will write about the stuff I went through with a parent but not right now. I can’t get myself worked up with all this stupid fucking anxiety around surgery. It will just throw gas into the fire when I am trying to burn the fire out. Allergies have been bad the past few days and it isn’t officially spring yet till Thurs. That is probably why I was wheezing. Allergies. I just took Flonase so hope that calms it down some. I will take Benadryl if I need to. I might anyways to calm the fuck down. I had minimal sleep last night because I was crazy with anxiety. My phone kept ringing or I had to make calls this morning and I don’t even remember who I talked to because I was on the phone, writing emails, getting shit done all before I had a cuppa. I didn’t want cawfee and now I won’t be able to have it because I don’t have half and half. I have to go to the super market and get it tomorrow. I want to get Golden Oreos, too. And this stupid cereal I fell in love with but can’t seem to find anywhere but in the damn stores. It’s a flax seed and multigrain flakes cereal that is made by Nature’s Path. So good. That is all I want. Then next week or whenever I am home from the hospital, I can order my regular grocery stuff.