running around continued

Running around continued

I got the zipcar this morning and went to the Social Security office. I should have looked up the address before leaving but I didn’t. I drove right by it, twice. I waited about an hour to be called. There was some traffic on the way home. My mother wanted me to stop and get her some stuff at the grocery store. She wanted deli meat and bread. I also wanted to see if I could find a 9×9 or 10×10 pan. No luck. So I went to Stop and Shop as I still had some time to kill before returning the car. They didn’t have it either so I settled on an 8×8. I then returned the car. As I was walking home, my ankle was hurting. I had to stop at Walgreens to pick up my scripts and of course there was a line. The regular pharm tech wasn’t there. My ankle wasn’t happy to stand. By the time I got home, I was hurting really bad. I am still hurting.

I had overnight oats for breakfast. It was okay. There was only one kind and it had coconut in it. I love coconut shavings but not really the flavor. While I was at the grocery store, I bought lunch, some buffalo chicken wings. I should have bought two packages. Oh well. It was really good and not too hot. I am hungry now but going down the stairs is going to hurt. I emailed my PT to see if maybe wearing a boot will help as any movement really hurts, weight bearing or not. I got to keep my ankle/foot immobilized in order to stay pain free. I only hesitate to wear it because it knocks my hip out of whack, which then hurts my back.

I got into a low mood last night and emailed my psych that I was done. I was giving up. Monday would be our last appt. It might change but it might not. I don’t know. I hate being ambivalent but it’s the nature of the beast. My mood kind of sucks right now. I am in a lot of pain. Meds have taken away some of it but it’s still always there. I know I will never have zero pain, even with the meds. But I want them to take more than just the edge off sometimes. If they can bring my pain to my baseline, that would be great. It really sucks that I had to decrease my Zoloft due to side effects. I feel it helped me cope with things better.

Big goings on with the Red Sox today. A lot of their coaches have been hired by other teams since the firing of John Farrell. They have name a new manager, Alex Cora, who used to play with the Sox. I like him and think he will be good for the team. Just stinks he has to hire new coaches now as well as to get to know the players. I really would love to see Jason Varitek as their pitching coach. I love Varitek when he played our catcher. He is so very handsome and a good player that was classy and knew the game well. I miss seeing him every day. I follow his wife on twitter as he doesn’t have any social media accounts. The Skanks fired their manager today. I am not surprised as he really wasn’t producing for them. They made it to the playoffs but didn’t win any pennants. Not that I feel bad or anything. I didn’t like him, but only because he played for our rival team. I honestly don’t know anything about him like I do their other manager, Joe Torre. I respect Joe. He is one of a kind.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to running around continued

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    I’m so sorry your in so much pain. sending good thoughts. x

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