Sunday Blog 12 Nov 2017

Sunday Blog 12 Nov 2017

I was able to shower today. I was kind of tired afterwards but I made coffee and then ordered some food. I read a couple chapters of Coraline. Then the pain in my ankle increased. I took some pain meds. It settled down, some. My sisters and I were planning to visit my aunt for her birthday and I didn’t want pain to stop me. Two hours later, I moved my ankle and it flared up. I was in a lot of pain. I didn’t want to have to take the strong pain pill but I also wanted to see my aunt who I haven’t seen in a few months. I took the pill and fiddled with my phone to distract myself.

I spent like 20 minutes in the BPD chat. Topic today was coping plans. I brought up the Stanley/Brown safety plan and a few people wanted to know more about it. Someone on twitter had a link to the PDF but I couldn’t find it in my “likes” or in a search. I also have a knack of remembering things but not the source so I didn’t know who tweeted it. I had to get ready for the party so I said I would get back to them.

My sisters and I went to my aunt’s house. My cousins were there and there was Chinese food. I ate a lot. It was good food. Then we had cake and my sister was introduced to Apple TV. She showed my cousins the pics she had taken when she went to Italy in June. We all had fun with the stories and watching the videos. My aunt got tired so we left. I was the last to leave as my aunt was hanging on me and she started crying. I felt bad. I left feeling really horrible. She is 93 and has dementia due to Parkinson’s disease. It’s terrible and her mind is getting worse with time. She is not the woman she was even 3 years ago. I don’t even think she knows who she is. I am glad she didn’t comment on my hair. I had shaved my sideburns and my goatee so there wouldn’t be trouble. I don’t think she knew who I was but then she didn’t know anyone most of the time.

I came home and tried to find the safety plan. After spending some time looking for it and not having any luck, I just decided to create it in my blog. https://midnightdemon.com/2017/11/12/safety-planning-by-stanley-and-brown/

My pain is back up again. I am not sure I will be able to sleep tonight even though I am tired. I am feeling depressed about it. I have a lot of things to do tomorrow. If I can make the two phone calls I need to make and go to the Sprint store to change my name AND go to therapy, I will be happy. But right now, I don’t want to do anything but sleep. Tuesday I need to go to Market Basket to get some cranberries as they are on sale. I want to make my cranberry cake for Thanksgiving. I might make a gluten free version of it so my brother in law’s mother can have some. I don’t know if it will come out the same or even taste the same. I’ll have to ask my sister if she can have nuts as the recipe calls for walnuts and almond extract. I have no idea if gluten is in them. I’m too lazy to Google it.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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