woke up and can’t go back to sleep

Woke up and can’t go back to sleep

I woke up to use the bathroom and then have something to eat. Now I can’t go back to sleep. I wrote two emails before I went to bed. One was to my psych telling her how I was doing as I was in severe pain. I also told her how therapy was going. Then before I went to sleep, I emailed my therapist to ask him a few questions and to see if I could get another session this week. I am just feeling vulnerable and need the extra support.

I haven’t heard from my girlfriend in three days now. We had a short exchange on Friday but that was it. I probably will hear from her later today. I miss our chats.

I think next month I am going to buy a new laptop. The one that I am using right now is having problems with the screen and the cooling fan is making much more noise than it did before. I fear it is going to stop working all together and then it will break down. I just don’t know if I should get the 11” or the 14”. The consensus on Facebook is to get the 14” so I might go with that as it has I think it has more USB ports. I was writing it down in my notebook the stats so I could refer to it but I didn’t note the USB. I will have to look again as one had three and the other had two. The price is relatively the same for what I want loaded on it. Neither comes with a DVD/RW so will either have to use my laptop for that or buy an external one. I would have to buy software to play DVDs if I do. That is another 80 bucks so I am not sure I want to spend that much as that will jack up the price to around $600, for either laptop.

I had put lidocaine on my Achilles before I went to sleep and that seemed to help bring the pain down. Now my CRPS ankle, which is my bad one, is hurting me. I am not sure if it woke me up or not as it was close to the time I had to take my meds. Seems my body knows when I need a dose of meds more than I do. Usually around five hours after a dose it when I need the next one. I try to extend the time to six hours but it’s sometimes not possible. I see my PCP at the end of the month and I hope he would have changed his mind about giving me a longer acting pain med. If I can get at least eight hours of relief, that would be great. It would last me through the night and I won’t be up in the middle of the night.

I want to get my haircut done today but I don’t know if that is going to happen as I am up in the middle of the night again. I guess it depends on how I feel later today when I get up. I want to make bacon. I need to rest today so I might get my haircut done tomorrow. It all depends on what my energy levels are later.

I saw in country news that Billy Ray Cyrus will be changing his name to just Cyrus. I love his music. When he was playing a doctor in New York city (I forget the name of the show), I loved it and bought his album. There was song I fell in love with but I can’t think of it now and it’s not on Amazon music. Apparently, he is going to re-record his hit single, Achy Breaky Heart. I listened to it the other day when I was playing songs on YouTube. I started playing Toby Keith and it continued to play a bunch of country artists that I haven’t heard on the radio in a long time, like George Strait, Brooks and Dunn, and Cyrus. It was great listening to the old country songs. I wish they played them on the radio but now they play the new artist and the music just sucks.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to woke up and can’t go back to sleep

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    windows media player will play dvd’s. you don’t need to buy extra software for that. there is always something for free online too that will do the job. xx

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