the many pains of CRPS

The many pains of CRPS, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome

I woke up around 5. I checked to see if my check was deposited and it was so I paid a few bills. I am going to be dreading what my account is going to look like tomorrow. I think I’m going to have around $30 for the month. I had my mother save $50 for me towards my name change. She doesn’t know that, yet. She will in time.

I got hungry around 0630 so I made an egg burrito with lots of cheese. Flour tortillas seem to be my favorite thing right now. After breakfast, I still had an hour before I had to leave the house to meet up with her for coffee. It was cool so I shut the AC off and just had the ceiling fan on. I decided to nap. I didn’t put the blankets on. The air from the ceiling fan was bothering my CRPS foot. So I moved it to go under the blanket. WRONG MOVE! OMG Pain!! It felt like my ankle was being ripped apart. I swore and cussed and clutched my pillow. Fucking A. I couldn’t move as I was in so much pain. It settled down after lying still for about 15 minutes. Then I lifted the blankets with my right foot and snuck my left foot under. No pain then. I fell asleep until my alarm clock went off. I didn’t want to get up.

I got dressed and took a strong pain pill before leaving my room. I got to the bus stop and waited. Pain levels were fluctuating but tolerable. I had bought a gel cushion for the sole of my foot and put it on the AFO. It was killing me by the time I got to Starbucks. So I wasted $7. I couldn’t return it because I used it. I was disappointed. I hoped the burning at the bottom of my foot would pass and it did. My friend came and we had coffee. We talked for about three hours. It was good. Then my friend had to get her daughter so she left. I stayed to write a little bit but played with my phone instead. I then went to the bus stop to go home. My pain was manageable. I was looking forward to making a turkey roll up with cranberry sauce.

I got off the bus and started walking home. I got to within a block of my house and my ankle gave out on me, again. WTF. Two days in a row! I am not happy. I came home, made myself lunch and then took my pain meds. I then took a nap as I was exhausted. I had put my feet under the blanket so the fan wouldn’t bother them. I got hot and woke up after a couple hours. My ankle is still sore.

My groceries are coming sometime after 2000. I had picked a late time because I went out and wasn’t sure what time I would be home. I didn’t think it would be that late but whatever. I hope the pain meds have a chance to work by then. I am going to take another strong pain pill. I can’t take my regular one for another couple of hours.

Last night I got a message from someone who was looking for a guess blog post. I had given her my blog address and she got back to me saying my blog was about “BPD”. I have no idea where she got that from as I don’t have that disorder. I got offended and told her not to contact me anymore. Whether she thought the pain I write about is emotional pain and not physical, I don’t know. She wasn’t a mental health professional as far as I know. I hate it when people diagnose someone and don’t have the credentials. That is like me telling someone they have the flu because they have an earache. Dumbasses.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to the many pains of CRPS

  1. Skye says:

    I’m sorry about that. I enjoy reading your blog, but it seems that you definitely have a lot of pain. I don’t know how old you are, but I hope you’re not extremely young and have to deal with this forever. Maybe it will get better?

  2. G. Collerone says:

    Hi, CRPS stands for complex regional pain syndrome. It’s a condition that affects the nerves in limbs or the body. It can spread. I’m lucky mine hasn’t.

  3. Skye says:

    Hi. I was curious as to what CPRS is. I’m not sure if that is a rude question or not. It just makes it easier to read your blog by understanding the abbreviation.

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