hurting big time

Hurting big time

I made the manwich, which was cooking some ground beef and then pouring in the Manwich sauce. It’s basically a Sloppy Joe. I had three sandwiches as the hamburger buns I bought were small. Then I got to work baking the chocolate zucchini bread. I spent the entire afternoon mixing, baking and cleaning up. The bread didn’t cook right at the temp they said it was supposed to be. Luckily, my sister came over and told me to cook it at a higher temp for 15 minutes more. It came out good but all you can taste is the baking soda. I used dark chocolate instead of milk or semi-sweet. It was really chocolatety and tasted more like a chocolate cake. I liked it but think next time, I am going to use baking powder instead of soda.

By the time I had the bread in the oven, my ankle, foot, and back were killing me. I had called my mother around 1530 to tell her to make whatever she wanted for dinner as I wasn’t up to it. I needed to rest. She misheard me and thought I said I was going to the doctors. She is hard of hearing and I think it’s getting worse as she ages. I never got to rest as my brother in law’s brother came over to say hi. We talked for a bit, exchanging our mental troubles and medications we take. Then my sisters came over so I stayed down to talk with them while I was fixing the stupid bread I was making. My foot was not happy.

My brother in law had bought rotisserie chicken so we had that for dinner. I wanted to go upstairs to my room but stayed to eat and talk with my sisters. My sisters were not speaking loud enough for my mother so both parties were getting annoyed. My mother was having trouble understanding anyway. You have to say the same thing several times for her to get it. It’s frustrating.

My bread is still cooling off. I’ll go downstairs in a little bit and put the cover on it so it doesn’t get hard. I don’t know if I will eat the whole thing in the next few days. It’s only good for 4 days, according to the recipe. But we’ll see. I really like the dark chocolate.

I finally went upstairs after washing my feet as I was barefoot the whole time I was downstairs. My feet always gets dirty while walking around the house as I never wear slippers or socks, especially in the summer time. My foot and ankle were glad I came up to my room. I was shocked that when I turned on the laptop, the battery was dead. It must not have gone into sleep mode when I printed off the recipe and left it unplugged. Oh well. I have it charging now.

I have a feeling I am going to be up all night in pain because I was doing stuff all afternoon. I am glad I don’t have to do anything tomorrow. I am pretty tired but that doesn’t mean anything. Pain is an instigator and likes to do what it wants to do. The bad part is that I took my pain meds around 1400 so I can’t take anymore for another 2 hours. I can take a strong pain pill if I need it. I am hurting but it’s not intolerable, though I should take it so it doesn’t become so. I just hate taking the pill because of side effects. I knew I’d be hurting but damn. Going to the store and then cooking and baking just took so many spoons. I wanted to make coffee when I got home and now I regret it. I had bought a big jug of sweet cream (and it’s really sweet) so I am set for the month to make coffee at home. Tomorrow I will make my Hawaiian coffee and maybe read a bit. I haven’t read since last weekend. Maybe I will tonight as I know I will be up in pain. I should be able to breeze through Rumble Fish.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to hurting big time

  1. G. Collerone says:

    No, you can’t. It tastes more like chocolate cake

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    yum that bread sounds good, but can you taste the zukini? that’s the part i’m not sure about hahaha. I hope your night is going ok. xxx

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s