another painful depressing day

Another painful depressing day

I was in a lot of pain today with my shoulder. I didn’t want to do anything and so didn’t. I slept until around 11 and had coffee. I didn’t have anything to eat until a couple of hours later. The ortho department called me with an appointment so I have that at the end of the month. I also called my pcp office to see if I could increase my pain meds as I have so much pain. I haven’t heard back.

I had my dinner of Oreo cookies. I didn’t want anything else. I needed to shower and shave today but never got around to do it. I’ve been depressed most of the day. I wanted to go pick up my meds at the pharmacy. It was such a nice day today but I never left the house. Pain was a huge factor in keeping me in. I seriously gave some thought to suicide today but didn’t dwell on it.

My therapist got back to me this morning. I had to reschedule our appointment for next week as I have the CT scan a little close to our time. I am glad she got back to me. I let most of my friends know about my fractured shoulder. I just looked up the doctor I will be seeing. The bright side is he is chief of the department. Downside is he specializes in leg injuries. I don’t want the run around while I am in pain. I dealt with that while trying to find a diagnosis for my CRPS ankle and I won’t do that for my shoulder ever again. I don’t want something like CRPS to go to my shoulder. But I don’t know how common these ortho terms are and if seeing the chief will be a good idea. He would know who specializes in shoulders in his dept so I could get referred to that doctor. I know that I will need an MRI as I don’t think the CT scan is going to show the depth of the labrum. I could have a tear there that is causing me this pain. But without knowing what is causing the dislocation, I am stumped.

In the meantime I just hope to have adequate pain control. Hope my pcp gets back to me tomorrow.