Golf ball post

I should write a song about golfballs being an ankle. That is the type of swelling I have right now and it hurts like hell. I guess I did too much cookie making this morning. Course last night I ended up taking a few too many of this and that. I am really surprised I woke up today. If I didn’t I would be happy. I hate not being able to sleep for more than a few hours these days and not being able to see with my new glasses. Is that asking too much??

Because of my medication OD, I swear to God I thought today was Wednesday all day. Wed I am supposed to pick up my niece at 12. Well seeing as I got my days wrong, I went to the school anyway and at 12 was wondering why no one was coming to pick up their kids. Place is always a mad house when school is let out. I go on playing with my phone and then realize today is TUESDAY not WEDNESDAY ya dummy….so I walk home. Only to reach the front steps of my house when my cousin kindly reminds me that I should get rid of my junk box and get a car. If another family member on my mother’s side tells me I should just buckle down and get a fricken damn car, I am going to put a sock in their mouth!! A nice dirty smelly sock!!

So I am going to go off to dream land for a bit. I’ll probably be back around 3-5 am when I wake up to use the bathroom or just wake up to start the day. I kid you not, the past few nights have been torture and trying to get back to sleep has been hell…

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G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality