Productive Sunday

Productive Sunday

I woke up around 10. I took my BP meds and antibiotic. I should have taken my pain meds but I wasn’t in too much pain. I wanted coffee so I got dressed to go to the store to get some half and half. While I was drinking my coffee, I read some Tom Sawyer. Around noon, I was getting hungry so made something to eat. My foot and mouth were hurting so I took some pain meds as well.

I found out my favorite announcer, Jerry Remy, was going to be on the radio today as NESN, the sports channel for the Sox, were honoring him for his 30 years of service. He isn’t in the booth right now because he had a recurrence of lung cancer. This is his 4th time getting it. He is confident that he will beat it and be back to the booth next year. I listened to the game. They won 5-1 over the Yanks and currently hold a five game lead over them in the AL East standings. I am proud of my boys.

After the game, my foot was hurting me and I was getting drowsy. My mother told me that they would be working on the water pipes this week so the water might be rusty. I decided to take a shower to see if that would wake me up. It made me tired. I didn’t want to nap because I think I am back to my sleep schedule. I took some strong pain meds to try and quiet my foot down but it didn’t make a difference.

I read some more of Tom Sawyer until I finished the book. I feel accomplished as that was one of my goals for the weekend was to finish a book and I did it. I had started a new one last night by Lawrence Block called Sins of the Father. I read it before but forgot what it was about. I read the first chapter and I still don’t remember too much about it. Guess I’ll find out when I read more. I also started Rumble Fish by SE Hinton. I should fly with that book. It is an easy read. When I finish that book, I will read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. It’s the only Harry Potter book I haven’t read. It’s all dialogue as it’s a play. Kind of like reading Shakespeare. I hope it is easy reading.

I need to sleep tonight so I hope this pain goes away soon. I might have to take some more strong pain pills. I’ll be taking my night meds soon. I forgot to take my antibiotic at dinner so I will again be late in taking it. Last night I fell asleep before I took it. I was hoping to wake up before midnight but I didn’t. I woke up around 0330 because my bladder needed to be emptied. Then the pain started. I am getting really despondent about this pain business. I really don’t know how to live like this anymore. I don’t want to live anymore. I want to go back to work or get my degree. But chances of either of those happening is like winning the lottery.

My laptop screen is getting worse. I keep on getting glitches. I need to get it repaired. Luckily I know someone that does computer work so he is going to help me fix it. I really don’t want to send my laptop back to Dell for $300. I need to save some money from now on so I can change my name by my birthday.

I got a busy week this week. I see my therapist tomorrow. I don’t have an agenda of things to talk about. I’ll probably just ramble for 45 minutes and then he’ll say “see you next week”. I honestly don’t know why I bother. If I had any brains, I should have cancelled last week when I had the chance.

I have a hefty grocery bill this month because my mother wanted some things. My stuff alone was around $200 as I had to order ingredients for the things I wish to bake. Plus her things and it’s like $230, the most I have ever spent on groceries. Guess I won’t be eating out this month. I’m going to try and order Chinese food because I haven’t had it in a while. It all depends on what is left over once all my bills are paid. I won’t know until Friday as that is when everything clears. I just hope I have at least $20 so I can get another haircut. I messed it up again when I was shaving the sides and back. It’s all grown back as my hair grows fast but I like it down to the skin.

I took some Neurontin as my foot is going berserk. The whole thing is burning something awful. I hope I sleep late tomorrow so I don’t spend unnecessary hours at Starbucks like I have in the past. I want to leave my house at 2 so I can have my espresso and a sandwich and write a little bit in my journal before catching the train to see my therapist. It’s supposed to be hot tomorrow, yuck. But I guess it is to be expected. There is also an eclipse sometime tomorrow. That will be interesting. I hope I am indoors when it happens. Luckily, Boston is not in the projected path.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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