trans issues and other things on a Friday

Trans Issues and other things on a Friday

I was having lunch with my mother this afternoon. She had made tuna and I was having some with crackers. As I had made my decision to change my name soon, I thought I would tell her that. She seemed okay with me changing my name so I went a little further and told her I was trans. She asked what I meant and I said that I am a man in a female body. I also said that I plan on going forward with getting hormones so I could be a man. She seemed okay with it. I was overjoyed. I went up to her and said, are you okay with me being a man? She said, you dress like one anyway.

I felt such relief, my head was spinning. I texted everyone and then wrote on Twitter. I got a lot of responses that were supportive. I still can’t believe my mother, who I was convinced hated me, said the words, “I just want you to be happy”. My sister sent me the most supportive message, which is what I needed to hear because my mood has been so dark lately.

After lunch, I went to my room and tried to write a blog solely on the transgender issue but pain interrupted that. I tried napping to ease it and my foot/ankle cramped up. I didn’t want to take an Ativan because I really didn’t want to sleep so heavy or feel out of it, like the Neurontin is making me. I took some magnesium supplements and waited a few hours. I went down to the basement to fetch my dirty gravy and some frozen dinners. Tomorrow I will heat up the gravy and make some pasta for lunch.

I don’t know why my pain is so damn high. All I did was shower and make breakfast. I made oatmeal pancakes, which I have had in a while. They were good, even though I forgot to put sugar in the batter. But that is why you use syrup. I also made coffee, which was good as I used spring water rather than tap and boiled it in a pan rather than the tea kettle. I wanted to see if there would be a different taste and there was. The downside was that because I used the amount of water for the cup, it wasn’t enough for the coffee so the coffee was a bit strong, good though. I needed it to get me through the fog I was in.

A friend of mine is reading my Darkness Always Wins book. I guess I didn’t edit it too well as she found some typos. She is going to read the book and then edit it for me. I can always upload changes to the book. I sent her the word doc for the book so she will get back to me when she is done reading it. She said she is advertising my book to anyone that might be interested in it. I thought that was sweet of her. The sales haven’t been so great on this book so any advertising would be awesome.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to trans issues and other things on a Friday

  1. mm172001 says:

    I read this awhile ago and couldn’t comment because I was on my phone but way to go! So happy for you as for the trans thing. The pain always sucks, but one less thing to add to it.

any thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s