Last Saturday Blog of 2017 (30 Dec)

Last Saturday blog of 2017 (30 Dec)

I spent the day just lounging around. I had wanted to go to the store and mail a letter but it was too cold. My legs and ankle were hurting me from all the standing I did around yesterday. After I had breakfast, I went back to sleep and was having a weird dream about finding my work “box” full of tech stuff, like thumb drives and an old video game. I had opened the video game to see how many batteries it took and there were like a lot. I woke up sweating because my room got hot and I was under the blankets. I had shut off the ceiling fan because it got cool in my room. I really need to shower but my ankle won’t like it. I will tomorrow.

I had wanted to start reading another book but spent too much time on social media to start it. I made a cup of tea but didn’t finish it. I wanted coffee but my ankle wouldn’t like making it. Any standing and it has a fit.

My sister made rice balls and it came out really good. My mother made a kind of chop suey with the left over meat and peas. It was good. She will be making pizza and calzones for the party tomorrow. I hope my brother in law makes his chili. I love it. Last year I only had one bowl. It was gone, that is how good it was. He only makes it at New Years. My other sister make Baklava. I can’t wait to try it tomorrow.

Tuesday, I will have to go into the Square to deposit money in my checking account. I really fucked it up and am now overdrawn. I am such an idiot. I thought I could manage to get a haircut but I won’t be able to now. All because my memory sucks. If I had remembered that I had a bill pay for my therapist, I would have the money in my account and I wouldn’t have to worry so much about if I had enough to get my meds for the month. I know some of them will be affordable because they are generic, but the new one and Invega are the ones I am worrying about not being able to afford. I wish I could work so I can get a little extra pay during the month but I can barely keep my doctor’s appointments or physical therapy sessions as it is. Least I don’t have to pay my therapist until March! Longer if I skip appts. I think I am going to try every other week or so. There are Monday holidays coming up so it might work out that way.

I’ve been thinking about my former therapist. It still hurts that I am no longer seeing her. I can’t say that I have been better off as I have had more hospitalizations in a year than I have had in the 16 years I have seen her. I still get suicidal and may be more so if I don’t get my pain controlled pretty soon.

Man, I feel dizzy for some reason. Thought I was getting a migraine earlier so took some meds. The headache is gone but the world is spinning. Think I am going to lie down.

any thoughts?

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