Frosty Day

Frosty day

It was 1 degree when I woke up at 0500. It warmed up to about 4 around 1100 when I decided to go out and brave the cold. I didn’t want to but I had to pick up my scripts at my doctor’s office. I left the house too soon so I waited for almost 30 minutes for the bus. I was practically an ice cube. I got to Starbucks and ordered my drink wrong. I normally say 2 pumps of whatever syrup but I forgot to. I did remember to make a soy latte as the milk would have wrecked my bowels. I don’t know why their milk goes through me, but it does. Maybe because it is 2%, I don’t know. I had a turkey sandwich and then wrote in my journal. I left around 1400.

It didn’t take me long to get back to the Square after I left my doc’s office. I missed the bus by eight minutes, so I took another bus down the street and waited another 20 minutes for the bus home. The bench was cold as ice so sitting wasn’t an option. My ankle was not appreciative and for some reason my right calf was upset. It kept hurting like it was going to cramp or something. I tried stretching it but it didn’t work. I had to go to Walgreens to pick up my mood stabilizer and a couple of things for my mother. She had called me to grab one more thing but after waiting in line at the pharmacy, I forgot about it. I will try to remember when I go Tuesday.

I came out to thaw out. My thighs were frozen. It was mixed temps in my room. The window was blowing cold air and the radiator hot air so it took a while for me to warm up. I had no idea what I wanted for supper. My mother asked what I wanted and I told her I was going to make a cold cut sandwich. It didn’t appeal to her. I think she reheated some soup, which reminds me I can have clam chowder tomorrow. I forgot I have a can from when I shopped a couple of months ago.

I finished my friend’s book this morning. It was a good book. He was a very descriptive person. I liked the book. Now I think I will read Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. I hope it is good. His books are a mix. You never know what you are going to get. I wish I had known one of his series of books were of the comic strip variety. I think they renamed them graphic novels. I don’t like them as I bought it on the Kindle and it is hard to read. I’ve never been into comic books. So I have a $20 set for nothing. Oh well. I really need to get my eyes examined. Even with my glasses I am having a hard time reading things. The print is too small or blurry. I’ve had to make some adjustments to my laptop as the print was microscopic. My right eye is bad as that is the one I am having trouble with, which tires out my left for compensating. I can’t remember when I last went to my eye doctor. They have some funny eye exam rules. One insurance says I can have an annual visit every 18 months and the other is every 2 years. I don’t know where I fall as I switched off. I guess I will call in the New year. I need to make sure my eye doc is still there. I had sent him a question via email and he said he was out of the country. I don’t know if that was a vacation trip or what. I really would hate to see someone else as I have been going to him since I was 19 or so. He is a very thorough doctor.

My ankle is really hurting. I hope I can sleep tonight. I know I had to walk around a lot today. I just hope it settles down some by the time I am ready for bed.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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