Pain and feeling blah

I didn’t have a good sleep. I woke up nearly every hour from 330-630. I was in pain but I was too sleepy to turn over to take my meds. Then by the time 0630 hit, I was really hurting so I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I was feeling kind of blah and didn’t really want to do anything. It was cold out so I took my meds and then went back to sleep for a few hours. I got up around 1130. My ankle was throbbing. I knew I should have something to eat but I didn’t know what to make. An hour or so later, I decided to order something.

After I ate, I went back to my room and holy pain! My foot turned into a block of ice and was so painful. I was feeling really down. I wanted to call PT to let them know I was not going back but I wanted to nap. I laid down and within fifteen minutes, my damn ankle bone went berserk. I decided to take the strong pain pill as I didn’t know what else to do and I couldn’t take my regular med for a few hours.

Today is the 17th anniversary of getting Cauda Equina Syndrome. I had lost feeling in my feet and had foot drop. My left leg was also numb. I was 25 and couldn’t walk or stand. It was a very difficult time. I had no idea if I would regain the use of my leg and it took months to walk unassisted. I was lucky that it was caught early and I did regain some mobility. I wasn’t 100% but that was okay. The shock of it is still with me to this day, made worse by being disabled by another condition that could have been because of the Cauda Equina Syndrome. I have no idea if it was or if I would have developed CRPS, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, anyway. I still feel sad that I am no longer able to walk far like I once did. Even walking a block or two is difficult some days.

any thoughts?

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