Warm Wednesday finally

Warm Wednesday Finally

The temps in Boston were higher than Dallas and Miami, which is unusual. Last night it was 61 when I finally when to bed sometime around 3 I think. I was in a bad flare. I ended up going on a shopping spree. I wanted to buy more pajama pants and some shorts for the summer. I still need to buy some jean shorts as I only have one pair. I have a cargo shorts but they are getting worn. I haven’t really bought clothes since I went on disability six years ago. I also bought a couple pairs of sneakers has it has been as long since I bought them. They will last. I bought two kinds, one with laces and one with Velcro. I think the Velcro will be easier with the AFO. If not, I will have a spare pair.

My med alarm scared me. I took my BP pill and then went back to sleep only to wake up scared again with my alarm to get up for my groceries. I wanted to make pancakes but I wasn’t hungry or motivated to. I made coffee. It was good with the sweet cream. I didn’t use any sugar, which is good because it would have been too sweet. I only had half a cup. I realize I like the taste more than I like drinking it. I had a pop tart and then waited for my groceries. They were running late and when the driver came he was a wreck. He was driving all over the place and I guess the customers were not happy about late deliveries.

I put the stuff away and then made lunch. I bought Brie cheese and didn’t realize you had to keep it out a while for it to be soft. I had put it in the fridge as I didn’t know this until I was making my lunch. I put too much so it was filling. I will leave it out next time so it will be softer to spread. I still enjoyed the sandwich. Maple turkey breast, Brie, and cranberry sauce in a tortilla wrap. So good.

Afterwards, I was so damn tired I took a nap. A friend called me around 1630. I just let the phone ring. I didn’t want to get up. But then my bladder said I had to so as I stretched, my foot fricken cramped! OMG, not good! I was in so much pain. It finally settled down on its own. I had trouble walking and hope the cramp didn’t cause any damage. That is all I need. I had dinner and then just played on my phone for a bit. I am really tired so I hope I sleep tonight. My foot is still hurting a lot. It’s always a question of whether it is going to keep me up or not. I am hoping now. But it is also hot in my room so who knows. There will be thunderstorms tomorrow afternoon/evening. Always happens when the weather is warm.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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