5 days before my birthday, good grief

5 days before birthday, good grief

I had a list of goals today. I wanted to brush my teeth, make breakfast/lunch, shave and shower, and then bake. I got up around 11. I brushed my teeth. Then I made the steaks I bought yesterday. That was breakfast and lunch. I had two cups of coffee. Then my mother needed some help doing some stuff. So I helped her out. I then shaved. Trouble was, the trimmer died after like three swipes on where I was shaving so I had to then switch to my razor which took longer than I expected. I usually charge my trimmer before I use it but I forgot and thought it had enough juice to do the job. It is an old trimmer so I think the battery is going. I charged it as I was shaving. I then did my head. For some reason, my head isn’t as smooth as it was before. I don’t know why this is. My sides are but the back of my head is kind of rough even though there is no hair. I then showered. I did okay as I only had to sit once or twice. But my foot was hurting. I was getting really tired. I dried off and then talked to my mother. She asked why I was tired and I said I didn’t sleep again. My soft blanket last night was on the crook of my ankle and as I moved it, it felt like it was cutting into in. I barely touched it as I showed my mother where the blanket was. That was all it needed to set it off. Fucker. I couldn’t deal. I took some gaba, only a small dose, and my pain med as my foot was hurting, like it was being crushed. I played with my phone some and then I crashed.

I woke up a little while ago. I was expecting my mother to call me for dinner but I guess she made her own, and I was to do the same. I don’t care. I am not that hungry any way. . I have been wanting a graham cracker cereal for a while. I think that might be my dinner. I shaved my mustache last night and now my upper lip is bothering me and I don’t know why. Maybe it is growing back in.

I took my night meds at 7. I have decided to take them early rather than later because I tend to sleep earlier than later, if pain isn’t a factor. I used to take them early but I stopped because of the pain med. It was like I was taking my night meds at one time, pain med an hour later, and gabapentin at an hour later. That combo seemed to work good for a while. Then I decided to take every thing an hour later and just take the gaba when needed. It is so hard to keep track of the pain when I flare though. That is when no combo works. I am so tired. I hope I can sleep at a decent hour. I really wanted to make these fucking cookies today but after the shaving and shower, I knew there was no way I was going to bake. I needed a nap. I got to listen to my body when I need rest because it’s rare that I have these opportunities to nap. Usually, I go to my room with the intention to nap, and I end up playing with my phone or decide to read a book and then the nap impulse fades or I get more tired, which is not good. Then I become overtired and I am up all night.

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